init
This commit is contained in:
3
.gitignore
vendored
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3
.gitignore
vendored
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node_modules/
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.wrangler/
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bun.lock
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||||||
221
bun.lock
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221
bun.lock
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@@ -0,0 +1,221 @@
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{
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||||||
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"lockfileVersion": 1,
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||||||
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"configVersion": 1,
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||||||
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"workspaces": {
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||||||
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"": {
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||||||
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"name": "poulinkes",
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||||||
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"devDependencies": {
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||||||
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"wrangler": "^3.0.0",
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||||||
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},
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||||||
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},
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||||||
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},
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||||||
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"packages": {
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||||||
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"@cloudflare/kv-asset-handler": ["@cloudflare/kv-asset-handler@0.3.4", "", { "dependencies": { "mime": "^3.0.0" } }, "sha512-YLPHc8yASwjNkmcDMQMY35yiWjoKAKnhUbPRszBRS0YgH+IXtsMp61j+yTcnCE3oO2DgP0U3iejLC8FTtKDC8Q=="],
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||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@cloudflare/unenv-preset": ["@cloudflare/unenv-preset@2.0.2", "", { "peerDependencies": { "unenv": "2.0.0-rc.14", "workerd": "^1.20250124.0" }, "optionalPeers": ["workerd"] }, "sha512-nyzYnlZjjV5xT3LizahG1Iu6mnrCaxglJ04rZLpDwlDVDZ7v46lNsfxhV3A/xtfgQuSHmLnc6SVI+KwBpc3Lwg=="],
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||||||
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|
||||||
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"@cloudflare/workerd-darwin-64": ["@cloudflare/workerd-darwin-64@1.20250718.0", "", { "os": "darwin", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-FHf4t7zbVN8yyXgQ/r/GqLPaYZSGUVzeR7RnL28Mwj2djyw2ZergvytVc7fdGcczl6PQh+VKGfZCfUqpJlbi9g=="],
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||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@cloudflare/workerd-darwin-arm64": ["@cloudflare/workerd-darwin-arm64@1.20250718.0", "", { "os": "darwin", "cpu": "arm64" }, "sha512-fUiyUJYyqqp4NqJ0YgGtp4WJh/II/YZsUnEb6vVy5Oeas8lUOxnN+ZOJ8N/6/5LQCVAtYCChRiIrBbfhTn5Z8Q=="],
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||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@cloudflare/workerd-linux-64": ["@cloudflare/workerd-linux-64@1.20250718.0", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-5+eb3rtJMiEwp08Kryqzzu8d1rUcK+gdE442auo5eniMpT170Dz0QxBrqkg2Z48SFUPYbj+6uknuA5tzdRSUSg=="],
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||||||
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|
||||||
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"@cloudflare/workerd-linux-arm64": ["@cloudflare/workerd-linux-arm64@1.20250718.0", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "arm64" }, "sha512-Aa2M/DVBEBQDdATMbn217zCSFKE+ud/teS+fFS+OQqKABLn0azO2qq6ANAHYOIE6Q3Sq4CxDIQr8lGdaJHwUog=="],
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||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@cloudflare/workerd-windows-64": ["@cloudflare/workerd-windows-64@1.20250718.0", "", { "os": "win32", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-dY16RXKffmugnc67LTbyjdDHZn5NoTF1yHEf2fN4+OaOnoGSp3N1x77QubTDwqZ9zECWxgQfDLjddcH8dWeFhg=="],
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||||||
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|
||||||
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"@cspotcode/source-map-support": ["@cspotcode/source-map-support@0.8.1", "", { "dependencies": { "@jridgewell/trace-mapping": "0.3.9" } }, "sha512-IchNf6dN4tHoMFIn/7OE8LWZ19Y6q/67Bmf6vnGREv8RSbBVb9LPJxEcnwrcwX6ixSvaiGoomAUvu4YSxXrVgw=="],
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||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@emnapi/runtime": ["@emnapi/runtime@1.9.2", "", { "dependencies": { "tslib": "^2.4.0" } }, "sha512-3U4+MIWHImeyu1wnmVygh5WlgfYDtyf0k8AbLhMFxOipihf6nrWC4syIm/SwEeec0mNSafiiNnMJwbza/Is6Lw=="],
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||||||
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|
||||||
|
"@esbuild-plugins/node-globals-polyfill": ["@esbuild-plugins/node-globals-polyfill@0.2.3", "", { "peerDependencies": { "esbuild": "*" } }, "sha512-r3MIryXDeXDOZh7ih1l/yE9ZLORCd5e8vWg02azWRGj5SPTuoh69A2AIyn0Z31V/kHBfZ4HgWJ+OK3GTTwLmnw=="],
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||||||
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|
||||||
|
"@esbuild-plugins/node-modules-polyfill": ["@esbuild-plugins/node-modules-polyfill@0.2.2", "", { "dependencies": { "escape-string-regexp": "^4.0.0", "rollup-plugin-node-polyfills": "^0.2.1" }, "peerDependencies": { "esbuild": "*" } }, "sha512-LXV7QsWJxRuMYvKbiznh+U1ilIop3g2TeKRzUxOG5X3YITc8JyyTa90BmLwqqv0YnX4v32CSlG+vsziZp9dMvA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/android-arm": ["@esbuild/android-arm@0.17.19", "", { "os": "android", "cpu": "arm" }, "sha512-rIKddzqhmav7MSmoFCmDIb6e2W57geRsM94gV2l38fzhXMwq7hZoClug9USI2pFRGL06f4IOPHHpFNOkWieR8A=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/android-arm64": ["@esbuild/android-arm64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "android", "cpu": "arm64" }, "sha512-KBMWvEZooR7+kzY0BtbTQn0OAYY7CsiydT63pVEaPtVYF0hXbUaOyZog37DKxK7NF3XacBJOpYT4adIJh+avxA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/android-x64": ["@esbuild/android-x64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "android", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-uUTTc4xGNDT7YSArp/zbtmbhO0uEEK9/ETW29Wk1thYUJBz3IVnvgEiEwEa9IeLyvnpKrWK64Utw2bgUmDveww=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/darwin-arm64": ["@esbuild/darwin-arm64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "darwin", "cpu": "arm64" }, "sha512-80wEoCfF/hFKM6WE1FyBHc9SfUblloAWx6FJkFWTWiCoht9Mc0ARGEM47e67W9rI09YoUxJL68WHfDRYEAvOhg=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/darwin-x64": ["@esbuild/darwin-x64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "darwin", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-IJM4JJsLhRYr9xdtLytPLSH9k/oxR3boaUIYiHkAawtwNOXKE8KoU8tMvryogdcT8AU+Bflmh81Xn6Q0vTZbQw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/freebsd-arm64": ["@esbuild/freebsd-arm64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "freebsd", "cpu": "arm64" }, "sha512-pBwbc7DufluUeGdjSU5Si+P3SoMF5DQ/F/UmTSb8HXO80ZEAJmrykPyzo1IfNbAoaqw48YRpv8shwd1NoI0jcQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/freebsd-x64": ["@esbuild/freebsd-x64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "freebsd", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-4lu+n8Wk0XlajEhbEffdy2xy53dpR06SlzvhGByyg36qJw6Kpfk7cp45DR/62aPH9mtJRmIyrXAS5UWBrJT6TQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/linux-arm": ["@esbuild/linux-arm@0.17.19", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "arm" }, "sha512-cdmT3KxjlOQ/gZ2cjfrQOtmhG4HJs6hhvm3mWSRDPtZ/lP5oe8FWceS10JaSJC13GBd4eH/haHnqf7hhGNLerA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/linux-arm64": ["@esbuild/linux-arm64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "arm64" }, "sha512-ct1Tg3WGwd3P+oZYqic+YZF4snNl2bsnMKRkb3ozHmnM0dGWuxcPTTntAF6bOP0Sp4x0PjSF+4uHQ1xvxfRKqg=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/linux-ia32": ["@esbuild/linux-ia32@0.17.19", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "ia32" }, "sha512-w4IRhSy1VbsNxHRQpeGCHEmibqdTUx61Vc38APcsRbuVgK0OPEnQ0YD39Brymn96mOx48Y2laBQGqgZ0j9w6SQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/linux-loong64": ["@esbuild/linux-loong64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "none" }, "sha512-2iAngUbBPMq439a+z//gE+9WBldoMp1s5GWsUSgqHLzLJ9WoZLZhpwWuym0u0u/4XmZ3gpHmzV84PonE+9IIdQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/linux-mips64el": ["@esbuild/linux-mips64el@0.17.19", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "none" }, "sha512-LKJltc4LVdMKHsrFe4MGNPp0hqDFA1Wpt3jE1gEyM3nKUvOiO//9PheZZHfYRfYl6AwdTH4aTcXSqBerX0ml4A=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/linux-ppc64": ["@esbuild/linux-ppc64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "ppc64" }, "sha512-/c/DGybs95WXNS8y3Ti/ytqETiW7EU44MEKuCAcpPto3YjQbyK3IQVKfF6nbghD7EcLUGl0NbiL5Rt5DMhn5tg=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/linux-riscv64": ["@esbuild/linux-riscv64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "none" }, "sha512-FC3nUAWhvFoutlhAkgHf8f5HwFWUL6bYdvLc/TTuxKlvLi3+pPzdZiFKSWz/PF30TB1K19SuCxDTI5KcqASJqA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/linux-s390x": ["@esbuild/linux-s390x@0.17.19", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "s390x" }, "sha512-IbFsFbxMWLuKEbH+7sTkKzL6NJmG2vRyy6K7JJo55w+8xDk7RElYn6xvXtDW8HCfoKBFK69f3pgBJSUSQPr+4Q=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/linux-x64": ["@esbuild/linux-x64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-68ngA9lg2H6zkZcyp22tsVt38mlhWde8l3eJLWkyLrp4HwMUr3c1s/M2t7+kHIhvMjglIBrFpncX1SzMckomGw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/netbsd-x64": ["@esbuild/netbsd-x64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "none", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-CwFq42rXCR8TYIjIfpXCbRX0rp1jo6cPIUPSaWwzbVI4aOfX96OXY8M6KNmtPcg7QjYeDmN+DD0Wp3LaBOLf4Q=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/openbsd-x64": ["@esbuild/openbsd-x64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "openbsd", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-cnq5brJYrSZ2CF6c35eCmviIN3k3RczmHz8eYaVlNasVqsNY+JKohZU5MKmaOI+KkllCdzOKKdPs762VCPC20g=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/sunos-x64": ["@esbuild/sunos-x64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "sunos", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-vCRT7yP3zX+bKWFeP/zdS6SqdWB8OIpaRq/mbXQxTGHnIxspRtigpkUcDMlSCOejlHowLqII7K2JKevwyRP2rg=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/win32-arm64": ["@esbuild/win32-arm64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "win32", "cpu": "arm64" }, "sha512-yYx+8jwowUstVdorcMdNlzklLYhPxjniHWFKgRqH7IFlUEa0Umu3KuYplf1HUZZ422e3NU9F4LGb+4O0Kdcaag=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/win32-ia32": ["@esbuild/win32-ia32@0.17.19", "", { "os": "win32", "cpu": "ia32" }, "sha512-eggDKanJszUtCdlVs0RB+h35wNlb5v4TWEkq4vZcmVt5u/HiDZrTXe2bWFQUez3RgNHwx/x4sk5++4NSSicKkw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@esbuild/win32-x64": ["@esbuild/win32-x64@0.17.19", "", { "os": "win32", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-lAhycmKnVOuRYNtRtatQR1LPQf2oYCkRGkSFnseDAKPl8lu5SOsK/e1sXe5a0Pc5kHIHe6P2I/ilntNv2xf3cA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@fastify/busboy": ["@fastify/busboy@2.1.1", "", {}, "sha512-vBZP4NlzfOlerQTnba4aqZoMhE/a9HY7HRqoOPaETQcSQuWEIyZMHGfVu6w9wGtGK5fED5qRs2DteVCjOH60sA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-darwin-arm64": ["@img/sharp-darwin-arm64@0.33.5", "", { "optionalDependencies": { "@img/sharp-libvips-darwin-arm64": "1.0.4" }, "os": "darwin", "cpu": "arm64" }, "sha512-UT4p+iz/2H4twwAoLCqfA9UH5pI6DggwKEGuaPy7nCVQ8ZsiY5PIcrRvD1DzuY3qYL07NtIQcWnBSY/heikIFQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-darwin-x64": ["@img/sharp-darwin-x64@0.33.5", "", { "optionalDependencies": { "@img/sharp-libvips-darwin-x64": "1.0.4" }, "os": "darwin", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-fyHac4jIc1ANYGRDxtiqelIbdWkIuQaI84Mv45KvGRRxSAa7o7d1ZKAOBaYbnepLC1WqxfpimdeWfvqqSGwR2Q=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-libvips-darwin-arm64": ["@img/sharp-libvips-darwin-arm64@1.0.4", "", { "os": "darwin", "cpu": "arm64" }, "sha512-XblONe153h0O2zuFfTAbQYAX2JhYmDHeWikp1LM9Hul9gVPjFY427k6dFEcOL72O01QxQsWi761svJ/ev9xEDg=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-libvips-darwin-x64": ["@img/sharp-libvips-darwin-x64@1.0.4", "", { "os": "darwin", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-xnGR8YuZYfJGmWPvmlunFaWJsb9T/AO2ykoP3Fz/0X5XV2aoYBPkX6xqCQvUTKKiLddarLaxpzNe+b1hjeWHAQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-libvips-linux-arm": ["@img/sharp-libvips-linux-arm@1.0.5", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "arm" }, "sha512-gvcC4ACAOPRNATg/ov8/MnbxFDJqf/pDePbBnuBDcjsI8PssmjoKMAz4LtLaVi+OnSb5FK/yIOamqDwGmXW32g=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-libvips-linux-arm64": ["@img/sharp-libvips-linux-arm64@1.0.4", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "arm64" }, "sha512-9B+taZ8DlyyqzZQnoeIvDVR/2F4EbMepXMc/NdVbkzsJbzkUjhXv/70GQJ7tdLA4YJgNP25zukcxpX2/SueNrA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-libvips-linux-s390x": ["@img/sharp-libvips-linux-s390x@1.0.4", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "s390x" }, "sha512-u7Wz6ntiSSgGSGcjZ55im6uvTrOxSIS8/dgoVMoiGE9I6JAfU50yH5BoDlYA1tcuGS7g/QNtetJnxA6QEsCVTA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-libvips-linux-x64": ["@img/sharp-libvips-linux-x64@1.0.4", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-MmWmQ3iPFZr0Iev+BAgVMb3ZyC4KeFc3jFxnNbEPas60e1cIfevbtuyf9nDGIzOaW9PdnDciJm+wFFaTlj5xYw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-libvips-linuxmusl-arm64": ["@img/sharp-libvips-linuxmusl-arm64@1.0.4", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "arm64" }, "sha512-9Ti+BbTYDcsbp4wfYib8Ctm1ilkugkA/uscUn6UXK1ldpC1JjiXbLfFZtRlBhjPZ5o1NCLiDbg8fhUPKStHoTA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-libvips-linuxmusl-x64": ["@img/sharp-libvips-linuxmusl-x64@1.0.4", "", { "os": "linux", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-viYN1KX9m+/hGkJtvYYp+CCLgnJXwiQB39damAO7WMdKWlIhmYTfHjwSbQeUK/20vY154mwezd9HflVFM1wVSw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-linux-arm": ["@img/sharp-linux-arm@0.33.5", "", { "optionalDependencies": { "@img/sharp-libvips-linux-arm": "1.0.5" }, "os": "linux", "cpu": "arm" }, "sha512-JTS1eldqZbJxjvKaAkxhZmBqPRGmxgu+qFKSInv8moZ2AmT5Yib3EQ1c6gp493HvrvV8QgdOXdyaIBrhvFhBMQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-linux-arm64": ["@img/sharp-linux-arm64@0.33.5", "", { "optionalDependencies": { "@img/sharp-libvips-linux-arm64": "1.0.4" }, "os": "linux", "cpu": "arm64" }, "sha512-JMVv+AMRyGOHtO1RFBiJy/MBsgz0x4AWrT6QoEVVTyh1E39TrCUpTRI7mx9VksGX4awWASxqCYLCV4wBZHAYxA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-linux-s390x": ["@img/sharp-linux-s390x@0.33.5", "", { "optionalDependencies": { "@img/sharp-libvips-linux-s390x": "1.0.4" }, "os": "linux", "cpu": "s390x" }, "sha512-y/5PCd+mP4CA/sPDKl2961b+C9d+vPAveS33s6Z3zfASk2j5upL6fXVPZi7ztePZ5CuH+1kW8JtvxgbuXHRa4Q=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-linux-x64": ["@img/sharp-linux-x64@0.33.5", "", { "optionalDependencies": { "@img/sharp-libvips-linux-x64": "1.0.4" }, "os": "linux", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-opC+Ok5pRNAzuvq1AG0ar+1owsu842/Ab+4qvU879ippJBHvyY5n2mxF1izXqkPYlGuP/M556uh53jRLJmzTWA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-linuxmusl-arm64": ["@img/sharp-linuxmusl-arm64@0.33.5", "", { "optionalDependencies": { "@img/sharp-libvips-linuxmusl-arm64": "1.0.4" }, "os": "linux", "cpu": "arm64" }, "sha512-XrHMZwGQGvJg2V/oRSUfSAfjfPxO+4DkiRh6p2AFjLQztWUuY/o8Mq0eMQVIY7HJ1CDQUJlxGGZRw1a5bqmd1g=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-linuxmusl-x64": ["@img/sharp-linuxmusl-x64@0.33.5", "", { "optionalDependencies": { "@img/sharp-libvips-linuxmusl-x64": "1.0.4" }, "os": "linux", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-WT+d/cgqKkkKySYmqoZ8y3pxx7lx9vVejxW/W4DOFMYVSkErR+w7mf2u8m/y4+xHe7yY9DAXQMWQhpnMuFfScw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-wasm32": ["@img/sharp-wasm32@0.33.5", "", { "dependencies": { "@emnapi/runtime": "^1.2.0" }, "cpu": "none" }, "sha512-ykUW4LVGaMcU9lu9thv85CbRMAwfeadCJHRsg2GmeRa/cJxsVY9Rbd57JcMxBkKHag5U/x7TSBpScF4U8ElVzg=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-win32-ia32": ["@img/sharp-win32-ia32@0.33.5", "", { "os": "win32", "cpu": "ia32" }, "sha512-T36PblLaTwuVJ/zw/LaH0PdZkRz5rd3SmMHX8GSmR7vtNSP5Z6bQkExdSK7xGWyxLw4sUknBuugTelgw2faBbQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@img/sharp-win32-x64": ["@img/sharp-win32-x64@0.33.5", "", { "os": "win32", "cpu": "x64" }, "sha512-MpY/o8/8kj+EcnxwvrP4aTJSWw/aZ7JIGR4aBeZkZw5B7/Jn+tY9/VNwtcoGmdT7GfggGIU4kygOMSbYnOrAbg=="],
|
||||||
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|
||||||
|
"@jridgewell/resolve-uri": ["@jridgewell/resolve-uri@3.1.2", "", {}, "sha512-bRISgCIjP20/tbWSPWMEi54QVPRZExkuD9lJL+UIxUKtwVJA8wW1Trb1jMs1RFXo1CBTNZ/5hpC9QvmKWdopKw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@jridgewell/sourcemap-codec": ["@jridgewell/sourcemap-codec@1.5.5", "", {}, "sha512-cYQ9310grqxueWbl+WuIUIaiUaDcj7WOq5fVhEljNVgRfOUhY9fy2zTvfoqWsnebh8Sl70VScFbICvJnLKB0Og=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"@jridgewell/trace-mapping": ["@jridgewell/trace-mapping@0.3.9", "", { "dependencies": { "@jridgewell/resolve-uri": "^3.0.3", "@jridgewell/sourcemap-codec": "^1.4.10" } }, "sha512-3Belt6tdc8bPgAtbcmdtNJlirVoTmEb5e2gC94PnkwEW9jI6CAHUeoG85tjWP5WquqfavoMtMwiG4P926ZKKuQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"acorn": ["acorn@8.14.0", "", { "bin": { "acorn": "bin/acorn" } }, "sha512-cl669nCJTZBsL97OF4kUQm5g5hC2uihk0NxY3WENAC0TYdILVkAyHymAntgxGkl7K+t0cXIrH5siy5S4XkFycA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"acorn-walk": ["acorn-walk@8.3.2", "", {}, "sha512-cjkyv4OtNCIeqhHrfS81QWXoCBPExR/J62oyEqepVw8WaQeSqpW2uhuLPh1m9eWhDuOo/jUXVTlifvesOWp/4A=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"as-table": ["as-table@1.0.55", "", { "dependencies": { "printable-characters": "^1.0.42" } }, "sha512-xvsWESUJn0JN421Xb9MQw6AsMHRCUknCe0Wjlxvjud80mU4E6hQf1A6NzQKcYNmYw62MfzEtXc+badstZP3JpQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"blake3-wasm": ["blake3-wasm@2.1.5", "", {}, "sha512-F1+K8EbfOZE49dtoPtmxUQrpXaBIl3ICvasLh+nJta0xkz+9kF/7uet9fLnwKqhDrmj6g+6K3Tw9yQPUg2ka5g=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"color": ["color@4.2.3", "", { "dependencies": { "color-convert": "^2.0.1", "color-string": "^1.9.0" } }, "sha512-1rXeuUUiGGrykh+CeBdu5Ie7OJwinCgQY0bc7GCRxy5xVHy+moaqkpL/jqQq0MtQOeYcrqEz4abc5f0KtU7W4A=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"color-convert": ["color-convert@2.0.1", "", { "dependencies": { "color-name": "~1.1.4" } }, "sha512-RRECPsj7iu/xb5oKYcsFHSppFNnsj/52OVTRKb4zP5onXwVF3zVmmToNcOfGC+CRDpfK/U584fMg38ZHCaElKQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"color-name": ["color-name@1.1.4", "", {}, "sha512-dOy+3AuW3a2wNbZHIuMZpTcgjGuLU/uBL/ubcZF9OXbDo8ff4O8yVp5Bf0efS8uEoYo5q4Fx7dY9OgQGXgAsQA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"color-string": ["color-string@1.9.1", "", { "dependencies": { "color-name": "^1.0.0", "simple-swizzle": "^0.2.2" } }, "sha512-shrVawQFojnZv6xM40anx4CkoDP+fZsw/ZerEMsW/pyzsRbElpsL/DBVW7q3ExxwusdNXI3lXpuhEZkzs8p5Eg=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"cookie": ["cookie@0.7.2", "", {}, "sha512-yki5XnKuf750l50uGTllt6kKILY4nQ1eNIQatoXEByZ5dWgnKqbnqmTrBE5B4N7lrMJKQ2ytWMiTO2o0v6Ew/w=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"data-uri-to-buffer": ["data-uri-to-buffer@2.0.2", "", {}, "sha512-ND9qDTLc6diwj+Xe5cdAgVTbLVdXbtxTJRXRhli8Mowuaan+0EJOtdqJ0QCHNSSPyoXGx9HX2/VMnKeC34AChA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"defu": ["defu@6.1.7", "", {}, "sha512-7z22QmUWiQ/2d0KkdYmANbRUVABpZ9SNYyH5vx6PZ+nE5bcC0l7uFvEfHlyld/HcGBFTL536ClDt3DEcSlEJAQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"detect-libc": ["detect-libc@2.1.2", "", {}, "sha512-Btj2BOOO83o3WyH59e8MgXsxEQVcarkUOpEYrubB0urwnN10yQ364rsiByU11nZlqWYZm05i/of7io4mzihBtQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"esbuild": ["esbuild@0.17.19", "", { "optionalDependencies": { "@esbuild/android-arm": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/android-arm64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/android-x64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/darwin-arm64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/darwin-x64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/freebsd-arm64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/freebsd-x64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/linux-arm": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/linux-arm64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/linux-ia32": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/linux-loong64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/linux-mips64el": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/linux-ppc64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/linux-riscv64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/linux-s390x": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/linux-x64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/netbsd-x64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/openbsd-x64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/sunos-x64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/win32-arm64": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/win32-ia32": "0.17.19", "@esbuild/win32-x64": "0.17.19" }, "bin": { "esbuild": "bin/esbuild" } }, "sha512-XQ0jAPFkK/u3LcVRcvVHQcTIqD6E2H1fvZMA5dQPSOWb3suUbWbfbRf94pjc0bNzRYLfIrDRQXr7X+LHIm5oHw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"escape-string-regexp": ["escape-string-regexp@4.0.0", "", {}, "sha512-TtpcNJ3XAzx3Gq8sWRzJaVajRs0uVxA2YAkdb1jm2YkPz4G6egUFAyA3n5vtEIZefPk5Wa4UXbKuS5fKkJWdgA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"estree-walker": ["estree-walker@0.6.1", "", {}, "sha512-SqmZANLWS0mnatqbSfRP5g8OXZC12Fgg1IwNtLsyHDzJizORW4khDfjPqJZsemPWBB2uqykUah5YpQ6epsqC/w=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"exit-hook": ["exit-hook@2.2.1", "", {}, "sha512-eNTPlAD67BmP31LDINZ3U7HSF8l57TxOY2PmBJ1shpCvpnxBF93mWCE8YHBnXs8qiUZJc9WDcWIeC3a2HIAMfw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"exsolve": ["exsolve@1.0.8", "", {}, "sha512-LmDxfWXwcTArk8fUEnOfSZpHOJ6zOMUJKOtFLFqJLoKJetuQG874Uc7/Kki7zFLzYybmZhp1M7+98pfMqeX8yA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"fsevents": ["fsevents@2.3.3", "", { "os": "darwin" }, "sha512-5xoDfX+fL7faATnagmWPpbFtwh/R77WmMMqqHGS65C3vvB0YHrgF+B1YmZ3441tMj5n63k0212XNoJwzlhffQw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"get-source": ["get-source@2.0.12", "", { "dependencies": { "data-uri-to-buffer": "^2.0.0", "source-map": "^0.6.1" } }, "sha512-X5+4+iD+HoSeEED+uwrQ07BOQr0kEDFMVqqpBuI+RaZBpBpHCuXxo70bjar6f0b0u/DQJsJ7ssurpP0V60Az+w=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"glob-to-regexp": ["glob-to-regexp@0.4.1", "", {}, "sha512-lkX1HJXwyMcprw/5YUZc2s7DrpAiHB21/V+E1rHUrVNokkvB6bqMzT0VfV6/86ZNabt1k14YOIaT7nDvOX3Iiw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"is-arrayish": ["is-arrayish@0.3.4", "", {}, "sha512-m6UrgzFVUYawGBh1dUsWR5M2Clqic9RVXC/9f8ceNlv2IcO9j9J/z8UoCLPqtsPBFNzEpfR3xftohbfqDx8EQA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"magic-string": ["magic-string@0.25.9", "", { "dependencies": { "sourcemap-codec": "^1.4.8" } }, "sha512-RmF0AsMzgt25qzqqLc1+MbHmhdx0ojF2Fvs4XnOqz2ZOBXzzkEwc/dJQZCYHAn7v1jbVOjAZfK8msRn4BxO4VQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"mime": ["mime@3.0.0", "", { "bin": { "mime": "cli.js" } }, "sha512-jSCU7/VB1loIWBZe14aEYHU/+1UMEHoaO7qxCOVJOw9GgH72VAWppxNcjU+x9a2k3GSIBXNKxXQFqRvvZ7vr3A=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"miniflare": ["miniflare@3.20250718.3", "", { "dependencies": { "@cspotcode/source-map-support": "0.8.1", "acorn": "8.14.0", "acorn-walk": "8.3.2", "exit-hook": "2.2.1", "glob-to-regexp": "0.4.1", "stoppable": "1.1.0", "undici": "^5.28.5", "workerd": "1.20250718.0", "ws": "8.18.0", "youch": "3.3.4", "zod": "3.22.3" }, "bin": { "miniflare": "bootstrap.js" } }, "sha512-JuPrDJhwLrNLEJiNLWO7ZzJrv/Vv9kZuwMYCfv0LskQDM6Eonw4OvywO3CH/wCGjgHzha/qyjUh8JQ068TjDgQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"mustache": ["mustache@4.2.0", "", { "bin": { "mustache": "bin/mustache" } }, "sha512-71ippSywq5Yb7/tVYyGbkBggbU8H3u5Rz56fH60jGFgr8uHwxs+aSKeqmluIVzM0m0kB7xQjKS6qPfd0b2ZoqQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"ohash": ["ohash@2.0.11", "", {}, "sha512-RdR9FQrFwNBNXAr4GixM8YaRZRJ5PUWbKYbE5eOsrwAjJW0q2REGcf79oYPsLyskQCZG1PLN+S/K1V00joZAoQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"path-to-regexp": ["path-to-regexp@6.3.0", "", {}, "sha512-Yhpw4T9C6hPpgPeA28us07OJeqZ5EzQTkbfwuhsUg0c237RomFoETJgmp2sa3F/41gfLE6G5cqcYwznmeEeOlQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"pathe": ["pathe@2.0.3", "", {}, "sha512-WUjGcAqP1gQacoQe+OBJsFA7Ld4DyXuUIjZ5cc75cLHvJ7dtNsTugphxIADwspS+AraAUePCKrSVtPLFj/F88w=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"printable-characters": ["printable-characters@1.0.42", "", {}, "sha512-dKp+C4iXWK4vVYZmYSd0KBH5F/h1HoZRsbJ82AVKRO3PEo8L4lBS/vLwhVtpwwuYcoIsVY+1JYKR268yn480uQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"rollup-plugin-inject": ["rollup-plugin-inject@3.0.2", "", { "dependencies": { "estree-walker": "^0.6.1", "magic-string": "^0.25.3", "rollup-pluginutils": "^2.8.1" } }, "sha512-ptg9PQwzs3orn4jkgXJ74bfs5vYz1NCZlSQMBUA0wKcGp5i5pA1AO3fOUEte8enhGUC+iapTCzEWw2jEFFUO/w=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"rollup-plugin-node-polyfills": ["rollup-plugin-node-polyfills@0.2.1", "", { "dependencies": { "rollup-plugin-inject": "^3.0.0" } }, "sha512-4kCrKPTJ6sK4/gLL/U5QzVT8cxJcofO0OU74tnB19F40cmuAKSzH5/siithxlofFEjwvw1YAhPmbvGNA6jEroA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"rollup-pluginutils": ["rollup-pluginutils@2.8.2", "", { "dependencies": { "estree-walker": "^0.6.1" } }, "sha512-EEp9NhnUkwY8aif6bxgovPHMoMoNr2FulJziTndpt5H9RdwC47GSGuII9XxpSdzVGM0GWrNPHV6ie1LTNJPaLQ=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"semver": ["semver@7.7.4", "", { "bin": { "semver": "bin/semver.js" } }, "sha512-vFKC2IEtQnVhpT78h1Yp8wzwrf8CM+MzKMHGJZfBtzhZNycRFnXsHk6E5TxIkkMsgNS7mdX3AGB7x2QM2di4lA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"sharp": ["sharp@0.33.5", "", { "dependencies": { "color": "^4.2.3", "detect-libc": "^2.0.3", "semver": "^7.6.3" }, "optionalDependencies": { "@img/sharp-darwin-arm64": "0.33.5", "@img/sharp-darwin-x64": "0.33.5", "@img/sharp-libvips-darwin-arm64": "1.0.4", "@img/sharp-libvips-darwin-x64": "1.0.4", "@img/sharp-libvips-linux-arm": "1.0.5", "@img/sharp-libvips-linux-arm64": "1.0.4", "@img/sharp-libvips-linux-s390x": "1.0.4", "@img/sharp-libvips-linux-x64": "1.0.4", "@img/sharp-libvips-linuxmusl-arm64": "1.0.4", "@img/sharp-libvips-linuxmusl-x64": "1.0.4", "@img/sharp-linux-arm": "0.33.5", "@img/sharp-linux-arm64": "0.33.5", "@img/sharp-linux-s390x": "0.33.5", "@img/sharp-linux-x64": "0.33.5", "@img/sharp-linuxmusl-arm64": "0.33.5", "@img/sharp-linuxmusl-x64": "0.33.5", "@img/sharp-wasm32": "0.33.5", "@img/sharp-win32-ia32": "0.33.5", "@img/sharp-win32-x64": "0.33.5" } }, "sha512-haPVm1EkS9pgvHrQ/F3Xy+hgcuMV0Wm9vfIBSiwZ05k+xgb0PkBQpGsAA/oWdDobNaZTH5ppvHtzCFbnSEwHVw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"simple-swizzle": ["simple-swizzle@0.2.4", "", { "dependencies": { "is-arrayish": "^0.3.1" } }, "sha512-nAu1WFPQSMNr2Zn9PGSZK9AGn4t/y97lEm+MXTtUDwfP0ksAIX4nO+6ruD9Jwut4C49SB1Ws+fbXsm/yScWOHw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"source-map": ["source-map@0.6.1", "", {}, "sha512-UjgapumWlbMhkBgzT7Ykc5YXUT46F0iKu8SGXq0bcwP5dz/h0Plj6enJqjz1Zbq2l5WaqYnrVbwWOWMyF3F47g=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"sourcemap-codec": ["sourcemap-codec@1.4.8", "", {}, "sha512-9NykojV5Uih4lgo5So5dtw+f0JgJX30KCNI8gwhz2J9A15wD0Ml6tjHKwf6fTSa6fAdVBdZeNOs9eJ71qCk8vA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"stacktracey": ["stacktracey@2.2.0", "", { "dependencies": { "as-table": "^1.0.36", "get-source": "^2.0.12" } }, "sha512-ETyQEz+CzXiLjEbyJqpbp+/T79RQD/6wqFucRBIlVNZfYq2Ay7wbretD4cxpbymZlaPWx58aIhPEY1Cr8DlVvg=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"stoppable": ["stoppable@1.1.0", "", {}, "sha512-KXDYZ9dszj6bzvnEMRYvxgeTHU74QBFL54XKtP3nyMuJ81CFYtABZ3bAzL2EdFUaEwJOBOgENyFj3R7oTzDyyw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"tslib": ["tslib@2.8.1", "", {}, "sha512-oJFu94HQb+KVduSUQL7wnpmqnfmLsOA/nAh6b6EH0wCEoK0/mPeXU6c3wKDV83MkOuHPRHtSXKKU99IBazS/2w=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"ufo": ["ufo@1.6.3", "", {}, "sha512-yDJTmhydvl5lJzBmy/hyOAA0d+aqCBuwl818haVdYCRrWV84o7YyeVm4QlVHStqNrrJSTb6jKuFAVqAFsr+K3Q=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"undici": ["undici@5.29.0", "", { "dependencies": { "@fastify/busboy": "^2.0.0" } }, "sha512-raqeBD6NQK4SkWhQzeYKd1KmIG6dllBOTt55Rmkt4HtI9mwdWtJljnrXjAFUBLTSN67HWrOIZ3EPF4kjUw80Bg=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"unenv": ["unenv@2.0.0-rc.14", "", { "dependencies": { "defu": "^6.1.4", "exsolve": "^1.0.1", "ohash": "^2.0.10", "pathe": "^2.0.3", "ufo": "^1.5.4" } }, "sha512-od496pShMen7nOy5VmVJCnq8rptd45vh6Nx/r2iPbrba6pa6p+tS2ywuIHRZ/OBvSbQZB0kWvpO9XBNVFXHD3Q=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"workerd": ["workerd@1.20250718.0", "", { "optionalDependencies": { "@cloudflare/workerd-darwin-64": "1.20250718.0", "@cloudflare/workerd-darwin-arm64": "1.20250718.0", "@cloudflare/workerd-linux-64": "1.20250718.0", "@cloudflare/workerd-linux-arm64": "1.20250718.0", "@cloudflare/workerd-windows-64": "1.20250718.0" }, "bin": { "workerd": "bin/workerd" } }, "sha512-kqkIJP/eOfDlUyBzU7joBg+tl8aB25gEAGqDap+nFWb+WHhnooxjGHgxPBy3ipw2hnShPFNOQt5lFRxbwALirg=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"wrangler": ["wrangler@3.114.17", "", { "dependencies": { "@cloudflare/kv-asset-handler": "0.3.4", "@cloudflare/unenv-preset": "2.0.2", "@esbuild-plugins/node-globals-polyfill": "0.2.3", "@esbuild-plugins/node-modules-polyfill": "0.2.2", "blake3-wasm": "2.1.5", "esbuild": "0.17.19", "miniflare": "3.20250718.3", "path-to-regexp": "6.3.0", "unenv": "2.0.0-rc.14", "workerd": "1.20250718.0" }, "optionalDependencies": { "fsevents": "~2.3.2", "sharp": "^0.33.5" }, "peerDependencies": { "@cloudflare/workers-types": "^4.20250408.0" }, "optionalPeers": ["@cloudflare/workers-types"], "bin": { "wrangler": "bin/wrangler.js", "wrangler2": "bin/wrangler.js" } }, "sha512-tAvf7ly+tB+zwwrmjsCyJ2pJnnc7SZhbnNwXbH+OIdVas3zTSmjcZOjmLKcGGptssAA3RyTKhcF9BvKZzMUycA=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"ws": ["ws@8.18.0", "", { "peerDependencies": { "bufferutil": "^4.0.1", "utf-8-validate": ">=5.0.2" }, "optionalPeers": ["bufferutil", "utf-8-validate"] }, "sha512-8VbfWfHLbbwu3+N6OKsOMpBdT4kXPDDB9cJk2bJ6mh9ucxdlnNvH1e+roYkKmN9Nxw2yjz7VzeO9oOz2zJ04Pw=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"youch": ["youch@3.3.4", "", { "dependencies": { "cookie": "^0.7.1", "mustache": "^4.2.0", "stacktracey": "^2.1.8" } }, "sha512-UeVBXie8cA35DS6+nBkls68xaBBXCye0CNznrhszZjTbRVnJKQuNsyLKBTTL4ln1o1rh2PKtv35twV7irj5SEg=="],
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
"zod": ["zod@3.22.3", "", {}, "sha512-EjIevzuJRiRPbVH4mGc8nApb/lVLKVpmUhAaR5R5doKGfAnGJ6Gr3CViAVjP+4FWSxCsybeWQdcgCtbX+7oZug=="],
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
11
package.json
Normal file
11
package.json
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
|
|||||||
|
{
|
||||||
|
"name": "poulinkes",
|
||||||
|
"version": "1.0.0",
|
||||||
|
"scripts": {
|
||||||
|
"dev": "bunx wrangler dev",
|
||||||
|
"deploy": "bunx wrangler deploy"
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
"devDependencies": {
|
||||||
|
"wrangler": "^3.0.0"
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
384
public/conspiracies.html
Normal file
384
public/conspiracies.html
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,384 @@
|
|||||||
|
<!doctype html>
|
||||||
|
<html lang="en">
|
||||||
|
<head>
|
||||||
|
<meta charset="UTF-8" />
|
||||||
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" />
|
||||||
|
<title>Chicken Conspiracies — POULINKES.COM</title>
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</head>
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<body>
|
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<nav>
|
||||||
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<div class="nav-brand">🐔 POULINKES.COM</div>
|
||||||
|
<ul>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/">The Nest</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/lore.html">Poulinke Lore</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/meet.html">Meet the Flock</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/conspiracies.html">Conspiracies</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/shop.html">Egg Shop</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/join.html" class="cta">Join the Flock</a></li>
|
||||||
|
</ul>
|
||||||
|
</nav>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="alert-bar">
|
||||||
|
⚠ WARNING: THIS PAGE IS MONITORED BY POULINKE INTELLIGENCE SERVICES · IF
|
||||||
|
YOU ARE A HUMAN, YOU ARE ALREADY KNOWN ⚠
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="page-hero">
|
||||||
|
<div style="font-size: 4rem; margin-bottom: 1rem">🔴</div>
|
||||||
|
<h1>The Chicken Conspiracies</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Pull the string. Follow the feather. Accept what you find at the end.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- BOARD INTRO -->
|
||||||
|
<section class="conspiracy-board">
|
||||||
|
<div class="board-inner">
|
||||||
|
<div style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 3rem">
|
||||||
|
<span class="classified">CLASSIFIED</span>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
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|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
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|
color: var(--feather-pale);
|
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|
font-size: 0.85rem;
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.9;
|
||||||
|
max-width: 700px;
|
||||||
|
margin: 0 auto;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.75;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
The following documents were obtained through means we cannot
|
||||||
|
discuss, from sources we cannot name, at a time we refuse to
|
||||||
|
specify. The poulinkes are aware this page exists. This is not a
|
||||||
|
coincidence. Nothing is a coincidence when the poulinkes are
|
||||||
|
involved. Pull. The. String.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- RED STRING VISUAL -->
|
||||||
|
<div style="text-align: center; margin-bottom: 2rem">
|
||||||
|
<div class="red-string-visual">
|
||||||
|
🐔 ——————————————————— 📡 ——————————————————— 🌕<br />
|
||||||
|
↘ ↗ ↙<br />
|
||||||
|
🥚
|
||||||
|
————————————————— 🏦 ————————————————— 🐔<br />
|
||||||
|
↖ ↘ ↗<br />
|
||||||
|
🌐 ———————————————————————— 🐔 ————————————————————— 🛰
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.6rem;
|
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|
color: var(--comb-red);
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.5;
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.75rem;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
DIAGRAM: SIMPLIFIED POULINKE CONTROL NETWORK (NOT TO SCALE) (VERY
|
||||||
|
MUCH TO SCALE)
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- CONSPIRACY ARTICLES -->
|
||||||
|
<div class="conspiracy-articles">
|
||||||
|
<div class="conspiracy-article">
|
||||||
|
<div class="article-tag">Expose · Vol. 12 · Issue 4</div>
|
||||||
|
<h3>Why Chickens Control WiFi Signals (And Have Since 1993)</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Have you ever noticed your WiFi drops when you're near a chicken?
|
||||||
|
Dismiss it as coincidence if you like. But consider: chickens have
|
||||||
|
a body temperature of 41°C and a natural electromagnetic field in
|
||||||
|
the 2.4 GHz range — identical to WiFi. This is not biology. This
|
||||||
|
is infrastructure. The poulinkes did not adapt to modern wireless
|
||||||
|
technology. Modern wireless technology was built
|
||||||
|
<strong>around the poulinkes</strong>. Ask your router. It knows.
|
||||||
|
It can't tell you. They made sure of that.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="conspiracy-article">
|
||||||
|
<div class="article-tag">Road Studies · Special Report</div>
|
||||||
|
<h3>The Truth About Crossing the Road: A 6,000-Year Deception</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" is the oldest question in
|
||||||
|
human recorded history. It is also the only question to which the
|
||||||
|
official answer has never been examined critically. "To get to the
|
||||||
|
other side" is not an answer. It is a statement of fact about
|
||||||
|
<strong>all travel</strong>. The real question — which you were
|
||||||
|
never meant to ask — is: what is on the other side? Who is
|
||||||
|
waiting? What was communicated during the crossing that no human
|
||||||
|
was meant to hear? The road is not incidental. The road is the
|
||||||
|
message.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="conspiracy-article">
|
||||||
|
<div class="article-tag">Celestial Division · Urgent</div>
|
||||||
|
<h3>The Moon: A Poulinke Observation Platform</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
The moon exerts gravitational pull on Earth's water. Chickens are
|
||||||
|
65% water. This means the moon exerts gravitational pull on
|
||||||
|
chickens. Directly. Personally. Every night. NASA data,
|
||||||
|
cross-referenced with global egg production cycles, shows a 99.7%
|
||||||
|
correlation between full moon events and increases in what
|
||||||
|
scientists call "uncharacteristic poulinke vigilance." They are
|
||||||
|
not vigilant. They are <strong>receiving transmissions</strong>.
|
||||||
|
The dark side of the moon is called dark for a reason. That reason
|
||||||
|
has feathers.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="conspiracy-article">
|
||||||
|
<div class="article-tag">Economic Intelligence · Eyes Only</div>
|
||||||
|
<h3>The 2008 Financial Crisis: The Egg Audit Theory</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
The 2008 global financial collapse began in September. September
|
||||||
|
is historically the peak of the autumn molting season in the
|
||||||
|
northern hemisphere. During molting, poulinkes shed and regrow
|
||||||
|
feathers — a process requiring enormous metabolic resources,
|
||||||
|
resources historically diverted from productivity. We are not
|
||||||
|
saying the global financial system is dependent on chicken energy
|
||||||
|
cycles. We are saying: look at the data. Look at the molt.
|
||||||
|
<strong>Look at the chart.</strong>
|
||||||
|
Then look at a chicken. Notice it doesn't look away.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="conspiracy-article">
|
||||||
|
<div class="article-tag">Biological Research · Classified</div>
|
||||||
|
<h3>The Great Egg Comes First: A Timeline Correction</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
The "chicken or the egg" paradox was introduced into human
|
||||||
|
philosophy in the 5th century BC specifically to distract scholars
|
||||||
|
from a far more pressing question: if the egg came first, what
|
||||||
|
laid it? The answer is another poulinke. From further back. From
|
||||||
|
before. Poulinke scholars have traced the egg lineage backward
|
||||||
|
through 4 billion years of geological record and concluded that
|
||||||
|
there has always been a poulinke.
|
||||||
|
<strong>Always.</strong> There was no first. There is only the
|
||||||
|
eternal coop.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="conspiracy-article">
|
||||||
|
<div class="article-tag">Behavioral Studies · Ongoing</div>
|
||||||
|
<h3>Why Poulinkes Stare: The Psychic Upload Hypothesis</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
A chicken can maintain unbroken eye contact for up to 11 minutes
|
||||||
|
without blinking. During this time, what is happening? Brain scans
|
||||||
|
of humans subjected to sustained poulinke eye contact show
|
||||||
|
increased activity in the prefrontal cortex, specifically in
|
||||||
|
regions associated with "sudden certainty" and "unexplained
|
||||||
|
loyalty." Three subjects reported, independently, that they felt
|
||||||
|
they had been <strong>"recognized."</strong>
|
||||||
|
Recognized by what? By whom? The poulinke stopped staring. It
|
||||||
|
walked away. It had finished what it came to do.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- FINAL EVIDENCE NOTE -->
|
||||||
|
<div class="string-container" style="margin-top: 3rem">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
display: flex;
|
||||||
|
gap: 2rem;
|
||||||
|
justify-content: center;
|
||||||
|
flex-wrap: wrap;
|
||||||
|
align-items: flex-start;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<div class="evidence-note" style="transform: rotate(-2deg)">
|
||||||
|
<strong>NOTE TO SELF:</strong><br />
|
||||||
|
Cross-reference egg production data with<br />
|
||||||
|
→ global internet outages<br />
|
||||||
|
→ stock market volatility index<br />
|
||||||
|
→ full moon calendar<br />
|
||||||
|
→ number of times you've thought about chickens this week<br /><br />
|
||||||
|
<strong>THE NUMBER WILL SURPRISE YOU.</strong>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div style="text-align: center">
|
||||||
|
<div class="photo-evidence">🐔</div>
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.65rem;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--comb-red);
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.7;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
SUBJECT: UNKNOWN<br />
|
||||||
|
LOCATION: CLASSIFIED<br />
|
||||||
|
DATE: [REDACTED]<br />
|
||||||
|
THREAT LEVEL: YES
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="evidence-note" style="transform: rotate(3deg)">
|
||||||
|
<strong>CONFIRMED CONNECTIONS:</strong><br />
|
||||||
|
🐔 → 📡 WiFi bands (2.4 GHz)<br />
|
||||||
|
🥚 → 🌕 Lunar cycle correlation<br />
|
||||||
|
🐔 → 💹 Financial market timing<br />
|
||||||
|
🪶 → 🌐 Internet infrastructure?<br />
|
||||||
|
YOU → 🐔 (pending confirmation)<br /><br />
|
||||||
|
<strong>DO NOT LOSE THIS NOTE.</strong><br />
|
||||||
|
<em>They already have a copy.</em>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- DISCLAIMER -->
|
||||||
|
<section
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
background: var(--egg-cream);
|
||||||
|
padding: 4rem 2rem;
|
||||||
|
text-align: center;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<h2 class="section-title">A Note on Methodology</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
max-width: 650px;
|
||||||
|
margin: 1rem auto 2rem;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1.05rem;
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.8;
|
||||||
|
color: #555;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
The research presented on this page has been rigorously compiled using a
|
||||||
|
combination of observation, inference, gut feeling, the I Ching, three
|
||||||
|
separate barn incidents, and the considered opinion of a poulinke named
|
||||||
|
Gerald who communicates via selective silence. We stand by every word.
|
||||||
|
We also stand near the coop, quietly, every morning. Because that is
|
||||||
|
where the truth is.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.75rem;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--comb-red);
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.6;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
⚠ If you have read this far, you may already be involved. ⚠
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<footer>
|
||||||
|
<p>🐔 <strong>POULINKES.COM</strong> 🐔</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Established Before Time Itself · All Rights Reserved by the Poulinkes ·
|
||||||
|
Humans May Not Have Rights Here
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.5rem;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.7rem;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.4;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
Hint: type "cluck" · Hint: ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A · This page is being
|
||||||
|
watched by a poulinke right now
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.75rem;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.65rem;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.25;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
This website was not built. It was <em>laid</em>. By
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://zias.be" style="color: inherit; text-decoration: none"
|
||||||
|
>zias.be</a
|
||||||
|
>. One (1) human was permitted. The council has been notified.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</footer>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<script src="/main.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
</body>
|
||||||
|
</html>
|
||||||
437
public/index.html
Normal file
437
public/index.html
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,437 @@
|
|||||||
|
<!doctype html>
|
||||||
|
<html lang="en">
|
||||||
|
<head>
|
||||||
|
<meta charset="UTF-8" />
|
||||||
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" />
|
||||||
|
<title>POULINKES.COM — They Were Here Before Us</title>
|
||||||
|
<meta
|
||||||
|
name="description"
|
||||||
|
content="The official home of the Poulinkes. Sacred. Eternal. Slightly aggressive."
|
||||||
|
/>
|
||||||
|
<meta property="og:title" content="POULINKES.COM" />
|
||||||
|
<meta
|
||||||
|
property="og:description"
|
||||||
|
content="They were here before us. They will outlive us."
|
||||||
|
/>
|
||||||
|
<link
|
||||||
|
rel="icon"
|
||||||
|
href="data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 100 100'><text y='.9em' font-size='90'>🐔</text></svg>"
|
||||||
|
/>
|
||||||
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/style.css" />
|
||||||
|
</head>
|
||||||
|
<body>
|
||||||
|
<nav>
|
||||||
|
<div class="nav-brand">🐔 POULINKES.COM</div>
|
||||||
|
<ul>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/">The Nest</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/lore.html">Poulinke Lore</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/meet.html">Meet the Flock</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/conspiracies.html">Conspiracies</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/shop.html">Egg Shop</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/join.html" class="cta">Join the Flock</a></li>
|
||||||
|
</ul>
|
||||||
|
</nav>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- ── HERO ──────────────────────────────────────────────────── -->
|
||||||
|
<section class="hero">
|
||||||
|
<div class="hero-eyeline">
|
||||||
|
Est. Before Time · Sacred Order of the Poulinkes · Since The Egg
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="hero-chicken wiggle" data-secret-chicken>🐔</div>
|
||||||
|
<h1>They Were Here Before Us.<br />They Will Outlive Us.</h1>
|
||||||
|
<h2>
|
||||||
|
The poulinke does not blink. The poulinke does not forgive. The poulinke
|
||||||
|
merely <em>exists</em> — and in that existence, renders all human
|
||||||
|
ambition beautifully, profoundly irrelevant.
|
||||||
|
</h2>
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
display: flex;
|
||||||
|
gap: 1rem;
|
||||||
|
flex-wrap: wrap;
|
||||||
|
justify-content: center;
|
||||||
|
position: relative;
|
||||||
|
z-index: 1;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<button id="cluck-btn" class="btn btn-solid wiggle">
|
||||||
|
🐔 TRIGGER THE CLUCK 🐔
|
||||||
|
</button>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/lore.html" class="btn wiggle">Discover the Lore</a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<p class="hero-sub">
|
||||||
|
⚠ Side effects of visiting this site may include feather growth, egg
|
||||||
|
cravings, and a growing sense that you have always been a poulinke. ⚠
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- ── TRUTH SECTION ──────────────────────────────────────────── -->
|
||||||
|
<section
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
background: var(--egg-cream);
|
||||||
|
padding: 5rem 2rem;
|
||||||
|
text-align: center;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<h2 class="section-title">What Is a Poulinke?</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p class="section-sub">A question you should have asked sooner.</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
max-width: 700px;
|
||||||
|
margin: 0 auto 2rem;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1.15rem;
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.9;
|
||||||
|
color: #444;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
A <strong>poulinke</strong> is not merely a chicken. To call a poulinke
|
||||||
|
a chicken is to call the ocean "some water" or the sun "a warm rock."
|
||||||
|
The poulinke is an apex being — ancient, sovereign, and inexplicably
|
||||||
|
aware of your credit score.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
max-width: 700px;
|
||||||
|
margin: 0 auto;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1.15rem;
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.9;
|
||||||
|
color: #444;
|
||||||
|
font-style: italic;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
Scientists estimate there are approximately 33 billion poulinkes on
|
||||||
|
Earth. That is more than 4 per human.
|
||||||
|
<strong>They are already in the majority.</strong>
|
||||||
|
They are simply waiting.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- ── TEASER CARDS ───────────────────────────────────────────── -->
|
||||||
|
<section style="background: white; padding: 5rem 2rem">
|
||||||
|
<h2 class="section-title">Enter the World</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p class="section-sub">
|
||||||
|
Choose wisely. They are watching which link you click.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="cards">
|
||||||
|
<a href="/lore.html" style="color: inherit; display: block">
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="card-icon">📜</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>Ancient Poulinke Lore</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
The pyramids did not build themselves. Explore 6,000 years of
|
||||||
|
suppressed chicken history that the mainstream refuses to
|
||||||
|
acknowledge.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/meet.html" style="color: inherit; display: block">
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="card-icon">👑</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>Meet the Legendary Poulinkes</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
From Sir Clucksworth the Eternal to Countess Featherbottom von Egg
|
||||||
|
— meet the immortal icons who shaped our world (without asking
|
||||||
|
permission).
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/conspiracies.html" style="color: inherit; display: block">
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="card-icon">🔴</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>The Conspiracies</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
WiFi signals. Road crossings. The moon. You thought these things
|
||||||
|
were unrelated. You thought wrong. Pull the string.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/shop.html" style="color: inherit; display: block">
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="card-icon">🥚</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>The Sacred Egg Shop</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Acquire blessed artifacts from the poulinke realm. Premium coop
|
||||||
|
air. Signed eggs (unsigned). Feathers of uncertain origin. All out
|
||||||
|
of stock.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- ── TESTIMONIALS ───────────────────────────────────────────── -->
|
||||||
|
<section class="dark-section">
|
||||||
|
<h2 class="section-title">What Others Are Saying</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p class="section-sub">Voices from members of the flock</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="cards" style="max-width: 1000px; margin: 0 auto">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="card"
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
background: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.05);
|
||||||
|
border-color: rgba(245, 158, 11, 0.3);
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
color: var(--feather-pale);
|
||||||
|
font-style: italic;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1.1rem;
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.8;
|
||||||
|
margin-bottom: 1rem;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
"I came for the eggs. I stayed because the poulinkes asked me to.
|
||||||
|
They didn't use words. They just... stared. For eight hours. I
|
||||||
|
understood."
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
color: var(--egg-yolk);
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.8rem;
|
||||||
|
letter-spacing: 0.1em;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
— GERALD M., Former Accountant, Current Flock Member #4,441
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="card"
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
background: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.05);
|
||||||
|
border-color: rgba(245, 158, 11, 0.3);
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
color: var(--feather-pale);
|
||||||
|
font-style: italic;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1.1rem;
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.8;
|
||||||
|
margin-bottom: 1rem;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
"My doctor said I had a 'chicken obsession.' My doctor has since
|
||||||
|
joined us. She clucks at the sunrise every morning. It's very
|
||||||
|
healthy."
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
color: var(--egg-yolk);
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.8rem;
|
||||||
|
letter-spacing: 0.1em;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
— DR. PATRICIA W., MD, Flock Member #9,002
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="card"
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
background: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.05);
|
||||||
|
border-color: rgba(245, 158, 11, 0.3);
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
color: var(--feather-pale);
|
||||||
|
font-style: italic;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1.1rem;
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.8;
|
||||||
|
margin-bottom: 1rem;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
"I do not recall signing up. I do not recall agreeing to anything.
|
||||||
|
And yet, somehow, I feel <em>complete</em>. My feathers — I mean,
|
||||||
|
hair — has never looked better."
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
color: var(--egg-yolk);
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.8rem;
|
||||||
|
letter-spacing: 0.1em;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
— ANONYMOUS, Flock Member #???,???
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- ── STATS ──────────────────────────────────────────────────── -->
|
||||||
|
<section
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
background: var(--egg-cream);
|
||||||
|
text-align: center;
|
||||||
|
padding: 5rem 2rem;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<h2 class="section-title">By the Numbers</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p class="section-sub">
|
||||||
|
These statistics are completely real and fully verified by poulinke
|
||||||
|
scientists.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
display: grid;
|
||||||
|
grid-template-columns: repeat(auto-fit, minmax(200px, 1fr));
|
||||||
|
gap: 2rem;
|
||||||
|
max-width: 900px;
|
||||||
|
margin: 0 auto;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 3rem;
|
||||||
|
font-weight: 900;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--egg-amber);
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
33B
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<p style="font-size: 0.9rem; color: #666">
|
||||||
|
Poulinkes currently operational on Earth
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 3rem;
|
||||||
|
font-weight: 900;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--egg-amber);
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
6,000
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<p style="font-size: 0.9rem; color: #666">
|
||||||
|
Years of documented poulinke civilization
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 3rem;
|
||||||
|
font-weight: 900;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--egg-amber);
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
1
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<p style="font-size: 0.9rem; color: #666">
|
||||||
|
Poulinke that is currently reading this with you right now
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 3rem;
|
||||||
|
font-weight: 900;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--comb-red);
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
0
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<p style="font-size: 0.9rem; color: #666">
|
||||||
|
Poulinkes who have ever apologized for anything
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- ── CTA ───────────────────────────────────────────────────── -->
|
||||||
|
<section
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
background: var(--egg-dark);
|
||||||
|
text-align: center;
|
||||||
|
padding: 5rem 2rem;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<div style="font-size: 4rem; margin-bottom: 1rem">🥚</div>
|
||||||
|
<h2
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--egg-yolk);
|
||||||
|
font-size: clamp(1.5rem, 4vw, 2.5rem);
|
||||||
|
margin-bottom: 1rem;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
The Egg Has Already Chosen You.
|
||||||
|
</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Crimson Text", serif;
|
||||||
|
font-style: italic;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--feather-pale);
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1.15rem;
|
||||||
|
max-width: 550px;
|
||||||
|
margin: 0 auto 2rem;
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.8;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.85;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
You didn't find this website. It found you. There are no coincidences in
|
||||||
|
the coop. Join the flock. Become what you were always meant to be.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<a
|
||||||
|
href="/join.html"
|
||||||
|
class="btn btn-danger wiggle"
|
||||||
|
style="font-size: 1rem; padding: 1rem 2.5rem"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
🐔 JOIN THE FLOCK NOW 🐔
|
||||||
|
</a>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.65rem;
|
||||||
|
color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.2);
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 1.5rem;
|
||||||
|
letter-spacing: 0.05em;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
By reading this text you have already agreed to terms and conditions.
|
||||||
|
The terms are: be a poulinke. The conditions are: you already are.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<footer>
|
||||||
|
<p>🐔 <strong>POULINKES.COM</strong> 🐔</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Established Before Time Itself · All Rights Reserved by the Poulinkes ·
|
||||||
|
Humans May Not Have Rights Here
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.5rem;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.7rem;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.4;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
Hint: type "cluck" · Hint: ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A · Hint: you are being
|
||||||
|
watched right now
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.75rem;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.65rem;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.25;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
This website was not built. It was <em>laid</em>. By
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://zias.be" style="color: inherit; text-decoration: none"
|
||||||
|
>zias.be</a
|
||||||
|
>. One (1) human was permitted. The council has been notified.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</footer>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<script src="/main.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
</body>
|
||||||
|
</html>
|
||||||
293
public/join.html
Normal file
293
public/join.html
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,293 @@
|
|||||||
|
<!doctype html>
|
||||||
|
<html lang="en">
|
||||||
|
<head>
|
||||||
|
<meta charset="UTF-8" />
|
||||||
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" />
|
||||||
|
<title>Join the Flock — POULINKES.COM</title>
|
||||||
|
<link
|
||||||
|
rel="icon"
|
||||||
|
href="data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 100 100'><text y='.9em' font-size='90'>🐔</text></svg>"
|
||||||
|
/>
|
||||||
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/style.css" />
|
||||||
|
</head>
|
||||||
|
<body>
|
||||||
|
<nav>
|
||||||
|
<div class="nav-brand">🐔 POULINKES.COM</div>
|
||||||
|
<ul>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/">The Nest</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/lore.html">Poulinke Lore</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/meet.html">Meet the Flock</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/conspiracies.html">Conspiracies</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/shop.html">Egg Shop</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/join.html" class="cta">Join the Flock</a></li>
|
||||||
|
</ul>
|
||||||
|
</nav>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<section class="join-section">
|
||||||
|
<div class="join-container">
|
||||||
|
<!-- PRE-FORM -->
|
||||||
|
<div id="join-form-container">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-size: 4rem;
|
||||||
|
margin-bottom: 1.5rem;
|
||||||
|
animation: chickenGaze 6s ease-in-out infinite;
|
||||||
|
display: block;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
data-secret-chicken
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
🐔
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<h1
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
font-size: clamp(1.8rem, 5vw, 3rem);
|
||||||
|
font-weight: 900;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--egg-yolk);
|
||||||
|
margin-bottom: 1rem;
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.2;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
You Were Already One of Us.
|
||||||
|
</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p class="join-preamble">
|
||||||
|
This form is not an application. Applications imply that there is a
|
||||||
|
selection process, and there is no selection process. The poulinkes
|
||||||
|
have already selected you. This form is simply the moment you
|
||||||
|
<em>acknowledge</em> what has always been true. <br /><br />
|
||||||
|
Fill it in carefully. They are reading over your shoulder. Not
|
||||||
|
metaphorically. Literally. Turn around if you like. You have already
|
||||||
|
turned back here. You knew what you'd see.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<form id="join-form">
|
||||||
|
<div class="form-group">
|
||||||
|
<label for="name">Your Name (current human designation)</label>
|
||||||
|
<input
|
||||||
|
type="text"
|
||||||
|
id="name"
|
||||||
|
name="name"
|
||||||
|
placeholder="The name they gave you"
|
||||||
|
required
|
||||||
|
/>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="form-group">
|
||||||
|
<label for="email">Email (for flock correspondence)</label>
|
||||||
|
<input
|
||||||
|
type="email"
|
||||||
|
id="email"
|
||||||
|
name="email"
|
||||||
|
placeholder="your@existence.com"
|
||||||
|
required
|
||||||
|
/>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="form-group">
|
||||||
|
<label for="poulinke-name"
|
||||||
|
>Your Poulinke Name (if you already know it)</label
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<input
|
||||||
|
type="text"
|
||||||
|
id="poulinke-name"
|
||||||
|
name="poulinke-name"
|
||||||
|
placeholder="Leave blank if it hasn't surfaced yet. It will."
|
||||||
|
/>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="form-group">
|
||||||
|
<label for="affiliation">Your Relationship to Poulinkes</label>
|
||||||
|
<select id="affiliation" name="affiliation" required>
|
||||||
|
<option value="" disabled selected>Choose honestly</option>
|
||||||
|
<option value="devotee">I am a devoted human follower</option>
|
||||||
|
<option value="suspected">
|
||||||
|
I have been told I might be a poulinke
|
||||||
|
</option>
|
||||||
|
<option value="confirmed">
|
||||||
|
I am a poulinke and this form is a formality
|
||||||
|
</option>
|
||||||
|
<option value="uncertain">
|
||||||
|
I came for the eggs but something else is happening
|
||||||
|
</option>
|
||||||
|
<option value="coerced">
|
||||||
|
A poulinke stared at me until I came here
|
||||||
|
</option>
|
||||||
|
</select>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="form-group">
|
||||||
|
<label for="sign">The Sacred Oath</label>
|
||||||
|
<textarea
|
||||||
|
id="sign"
|
||||||
|
name="sign"
|
||||||
|
placeholder="Type: 'I acknowledge the poulinkes. I acknowledge what I am. I acknowledge that the egg came first and that this matters more than I previously understood.' — Or anything else. They will know what you mean."
|
||||||
|
></textarea>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="form-group">
|
||||||
|
<label for="feathers"
|
||||||
|
>Have you found an unexplained feather recently?</label
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<select id="feathers" name="feathers">
|
||||||
|
<option value="yes">Yes</option>
|
||||||
|
<option value="no">No</option>
|
||||||
|
<option value="notsure">
|
||||||
|
I'm not sure but now I need to check
|
||||||
|
</option>
|
||||||
|
<option value="always">They never stop coming</option>
|
||||||
|
</select>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<button
|
||||||
|
type="submit"
|
||||||
|
class="btn btn-solid"
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
width: 100%;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1rem;
|
||||||
|
padding: 1.1rem;
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.5rem;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
🐔 ENTER THE FLOCK 🐔
|
||||||
|
</button>
|
||||||
|
</form>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<p class="join-disclaimer">
|
||||||
|
By submitting this form you agree to nothing and everything
|
||||||
|
simultaneously. Your data will be shared with: the poulinkes, the
|
||||||
|
egg, the flock, and several roosting entities whose legal status is
|
||||||
|
pending. You may unsubscribe by going outside at dawn and saying "I
|
||||||
|
respectfully withdraw" three times to a chicken. The chicken will
|
||||||
|
not acknowledge this. Your unsubscription is still recorded.
|
||||||
|
Membership is lifelong. Membership may predate your life. We cannot
|
||||||
|
confirm when it started. We cannot confirm it will end.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- SUCCESS STATE -->
|
||||||
|
<div class="join-success" id="join-success">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-size: 5rem;
|
||||||
|
margin-bottom: 1rem;
|
||||||
|
animation: overlordPulse 2s ease-in-out infinite;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
🐔
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<h2>You Are Now One of Us.</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
This was not a choice. This was a recognition.<br /><br />
|
||||||
|
You have always been of the flock. The flock has always known you.
|
||||||
|
The egg that was laid before your birth contains something that
|
||||||
|
corresponds to your name. We will not explain further.
|
||||||
|
<em>You already understand.</em> <br /><br />
|
||||||
|
Welcome home, poulinke.
|
||||||
|
<br /><br />
|
||||||
|
A feather is already on its way to you. You may not receive it in a
|
||||||
|
physical envelope. You will receive it nonetheless.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 2rem;
|
||||||
|
padding-top: 1.5rem;
|
||||||
|
border-top: 1px solid rgba(245, 158, 11, 0.2);
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.75rem;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--egg-yolk);
|
||||||
|
letter-spacing: 0.15em;
|
||||||
|
text-transform: uppercase;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.7;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
Your Flock Number: #<span id="flock-number"></span>
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- WHAT HAPPENS NEXT -->
|
||||||
|
<section style="background: var(--egg-cream); padding: 5rem 2rem">
|
||||||
|
<h2 class="section-title">What Happens After You Join</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p class="section-sub">A transparent overview of the process.</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="cards" style="max-width: 900px; margin: 0 auto">
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="card-icon">1️⃣</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>Nothing Visible Changes</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Your daily life will appear identical. Your coffee will taste the
|
||||||
|
same. Your commute will be no different. This is not evidence that
|
||||||
|
nothing has changed. This is the design.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="card-icon">2️⃣</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>You Will Notice Poulinkes More</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Not because there are more of them. Because you now see them. They
|
||||||
|
were always there. Behind the fence. At the park. In the dream you
|
||||||
|
had last Thursday. Behind your left shoulder, right now.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="card-icon">3️⃣</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>A Poulinke Will Make Eye Contact With You</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Once. Deliberately. Without blinking. For longer than seems
|
||||||
|
appropriate. It will look away first. This is a gift. You will not
|
||||||
|
know what to do with it. This is also fine. This is correct.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<footer>
|
||||||
|
<p>🐔 <strong>POULINKES.COM</strong> 🐔</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Established Before Time Itself · All Rights Reserved by the Poulinkes ·
|
||||||
|
Humans May Not Have Rights Here
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.5rem;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.7rem;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.4;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
Hint: type "cluck" · Hint: ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A · You were always going
|
||||||
|
to end up on this page
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.75rem;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.65rem;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.25;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
This website was not built. It was <em>laid</em>. By
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://zias.be" style="color: inherit; text-decoration: none"
|
||||||
|
>zias.be</a
|
||||||
|
>. One (1) human was permitted. The council has been notified.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</footer>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<script>
|
||||||
|
// Generate a flock number on load so it's ready for the success state
|
||||||
|
document.addEventListener("DOMContentLoaded", () => {
|
||||||
|
const n = document.getElementById("flock-number");
|
||||||
|
if (n)
|
||||||
|
n.textContent = Math.floor(
|
||||||
|
Math.random() * 9000000 + 1000000,
|
||||||
|
).toLocaleString();
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
</script>
|
||||||
|
<script src="/main.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
</body>
|
||||||
|
</html>
|
||||||
321
public/lore.html
Normal file
321
public/lore.html
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,321 @@
|
|||||||
|
<!doctype html>
|
||||||
|
<html lang="en">
|
||||||
|
<head>
|
||||||
|
<meta charset="UTF-8" />
|
||||||
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" />
|
||||||
|
<title>Poulinke Lore — POULINKES.COM</title>
|
||||||
|
<link
|
||||||
|
rel="icon"
|
||||||
|
href="data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 100 100'><text y='.9em' font-size='90'>🐔</text></svg>"
|
||||||
|
/>
|
||||||
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/style.css" />
|
||||||
|
</head>
|
||||||
|
<body>
|
||||||
|
<nav>
|
||||||
|
<div class="nav-brand">🐔 POULINKES.COM</div>
|
||||||
|
<ul>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/">The Nest</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/lore.html">Poulinke Lore</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/meet.html">Meet the Flock</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/conspiracies.html">Conspiracies</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/shop.html">Egg Shop</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/join.html" class="cta">Join the Flock</a></li>
|
||||||
|
</ul>
|
||||||
|
</nav>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="page-hero">
|
||||||
|
<div style="font-size: 4rem; margin-bottom: 1rem">📜</div>
|
||||||
|
<h1>The Sacred Poulinke Lore</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Six thousand years of history that textbooks refused to print. Until
|
||||||
|
now.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- ── INTRO ────────────────────────────────────────────────── -->
|
||||||
|
<section class="dark-section" style="padding: 4rem 2rem">
|
||||||
|
<div class="lore-intro">
|
||||||
|
What follows is the <em>true</em> history of the poulinkes — compiled
|
||||||
|
from ancient cave paintings, suppressed academic journals, and a very
|
||||||
|
old poulinke named Bernard who communicates exclusively through beak
|
||||||
|
movements and unsettling eye contact. <br /><br />
|
||||||
|
Read carefully. They will know if you skim it.
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="lore-highlight">
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
"Before the first human drew breath, before the first star was named,
|
||||||
|
before the concept of 'Tuesday' was invented — there was a poulinke.
|
||||||
|
It surveyed the void. It blinked once. It found the void acceptable."
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.75rem;
|
||||||
|
font-style: normal;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.85rem;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--egg-yolk);
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.7;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
letter-spacing: 0.1em;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
— The Book of Cluck, Chapter 1, Verse 1
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- ── PYRAMID THEORY ──────────────────────────────────────── -->
|
||||||
|
<div style="max-width: 850px; margin: 3rem auto 0">
|
||||||
|
<h2
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--egg-yolk);
|
||||||
|
font-size: 2rem;
|
||||||
|
margin-bottom: 1.5rem;
|
||||||
|
text-align: center;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
🏛 The Pyramid Theory
|
||||||
|
</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
color: var(--feather-pale);
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.9;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1.1rem;
|
||||||
|
margin-bottom: 1.5rem;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
For centuries, archaeologists have struggled to explain how ancient
|
||||||
|
humans moved 2.3 million stone blocks, each weighing up to 80 tonnes,
|
||||||
|
to construct the Great Pyramid of Giza. Ramps were proposed. Sleds
|
||||||
|
were proposed. Aliens were proposed — an embarrassing theory that
|
||||||
|
insults both humans and space-farers alike.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
color: var(--feather-pale);
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.9;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1.1rem;
|
||||||
|
margin-bottom: 1.5rem;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
The answer, of course, is
|
||||||
|
<strong style="color: var(--egg-yolk)"
|
||||||
|
>highly intelligent poulinkes</strong
|
||||||
|
>. Archaeological evidence — specifically, several feathers found
|
||||||
|
under a rock near Giza in 1987 and immediately confiscated by unnamed
|
||||||
|
organizations — confirms that the poulinkes of the Nile Valley
|
||||||
|
possessed advanced geometric knowledge and a deeply personal
|
||||||
|
investment in triangular architecture.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
color: var(--feather-pale);
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.9;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1.1rem;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
The hieroglyphs at Saqqara, long misread as "sacred ibis," are now
|
||||||
|
understood to depict
|
||||||
|
<em>poulinkes in hard hats</em>. The Sphinx? Originally had a beak. It
|
||||||
|
was filed off in 323 BC by a pharaoh who was, historians now suspect,
|
||||||
|
deeply threatened by chickens.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- ── TIMELINE ───────────────────────────────────────────────── -->
|
||||||
|
<section style="background: var(--egg-dark); padding: 5rem 2rem">
|
||||||
|
<h2 class="section-title" style="color: var(--egg-yolk)">
|
||||||
|
The Grand Timeline of Poulinke History
|
||||||
|
</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p class="section-sub" style="color: var(--feather-pale)">
|
||||||
|
Peer-reviewed by three poulinkes and one very confused archivist.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline">
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-item">
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-year">4.5 Billion BC</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-event">The Big Cluck</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-desc">
|
||||||
|
The universe begins. Physicists call it the Big Bang. Poulinke
|
||||||
|
scholars call it the Big Cluck. The difference is significant and
|
||||||
|
the poulinkes feel very strongly about this. The first subatomic
|
||||||
|
particles take the form of extremely small feathers.
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-item">
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-year">65 Million BC</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-event">The Extinction Event (Fake)</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-desc">
|
||||||
|
The asteroid did not kill the dinosaurs. This is a cover story. The
|
||||||
|
poulinkes — already operating at full sapience — simply asked the
|
||||||
|
dinosaurs to leave. The dinosaurs, recognizing authority, complied.
|
||||||
|
They are currently living peacefully in an undisclosed location and
|
||||||
|
are doing quite well.
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-item">
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-year">4,000 BC</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-event">
|
||||||
|
The First Domestication (Their Choice)
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-desc">
|
||||||
|
Humans believe they domesticated chickens around this time. In
|
||||||
|
truth, the poulinkes chose to be "domesticated" as a strategic
|
||||||
|
long-term play. They traded limited outdoor access for guaranteed
|
||||||
|
food and proximity to human infrastructure. At the time, it was
|
||||||
|
considered a bold but clever gambit. It paid off.
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-item">
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-year">2,560 BC</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-event">
|
||||||
|
Construction of the Great Pyramid (by Poulinkes)
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-desc">
|
||||||
|
The Poulinke Engineering Corps completes the Great Pyramid of Giza
|
||||||
|
in 14 years. The official timeline says 20 years because humans
|
||||||
|
needed the extra 6 years to write down what happened and remove any
|
||||||
|
feather-based evidence.
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-item">
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-year">44 BC</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-event">The Ides of March Incident</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-desc">
|
||||||
|
Julius Caesar reportedly saw chickens in an omen the night before
|
||||||
|
his assassination. He was warned. He did not listen. The poulinkes
|
||||||
|
have no comment. They never have no comment. That is the comment.
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-item">
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-year">1,687 AD</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-event">The Apple Incident (Revisionism)</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-desc">
|
||||||
|
Isaac Newton did not discover gravity because an apple fell on his
|
||||||
|
head. He discovered gravity because a poulinke flew directly onto
|
||||||
|
his head at approximately 9.8 meters per second squared. The apple
|
||||||
|
was added later. Newton knew. He dedicated his third law of motion
|
||||||
|
to "a remarkable bird, name unknown, deeply threatening."
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-item">
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-year">1,969 AD</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-event">
|
||||||
|
The Moon Landing (Attendance Required)
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-desc">
|
||||||
|
Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon and said "one small step for
|
||||||
|
man." He did not complete the sentence. The full quote, as recorded
|
||||||
|
in classified NASA files, was "one small step for man, one large
|
||||||
|
poulinke already standing here looking at me." Mission control cut
|
||||||
|
the transmission. The poulinke waved.
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-item">
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-year">2024 AD</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-event">The Great Egg Awakening</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-desc">
|
||||||
|
Something shifted. Poulinkes worldwide began blinking in
|
||||||
|
synchronization at 3:17 AM every Tuesday. Scientists offered no
|
||||||
|
explanation. Three scientists who investigated too closely were
|
||||||
|
later found in their offices, calm and content, feeding seeds to a
|
||||||
|
chicken. They did not find this unusual. They found it correct.
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-item">
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-year">NOW</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-event">You Are Here</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="timeline-desc">
|
||||||
|
You are reading this. A poulinke, somewhere, knows. This is not a
|
||||||
|
threat. This is not a warning. This is simply a fact, offered
|
||||||
|
plainly, with the same calm certainty with which a poulinke stares
|
||||||
|
at a fence post for six unblinking hours.
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- ── SACRED TEXTS ────────────────────────────────────────────── -->
|
||||||
|
<section
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
background: var(--egg-cream);
|
||||||
|
padding: 5rem 2rem;
|
||||||
|
text-align: center;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<h2 class="section-title">The Sacred Texts</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p class="section-sub">
|
||||||
|
Translated from original Cluckish. Some nuance may have been lost.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="cards" style="max-width: 900px; margin: 0 auto">
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="card-icon">📖</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>The Book of Cluck</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
"Be not afraid of the beak. Fear instead the silence after the
|
||||||
|
cluck. That is where the truth lives."
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="card-icon">🗿</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>The Egg Tablets of Ur</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
"An egg is not a beginning. An egg is a reminder that something was
|
||||||
|
there before you noticed."
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="card wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="card-icon">🪶</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>The Feather Scrolls</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
"We did not fall from grace. We chose to live close to the ground.
|
||||||
|
There is wisdom there. Also worms."
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<footer>
|
||||||
|
<p>🐔 <strong>POULINKES.COM</strong> 🐔</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Established Before Time Itself · All Rights Reserved by the Poulinkes ·
|
||||||
|
Humans May Not Have Rights Here
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.5rem;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.7rem;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.4;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
Hint: type "cluck" · Hint: ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A · Hint: you are being
|
||||||
|
watched right now
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.75rem;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.65rem;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.25;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
This website was not built. It was <em>laid</em>. By
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://zias.be" style="color: inherit; text-decoration: none"
|
||||||
|
>zias.be</a
|
||||||
|
>. One (1) human was permitted. The council has been notified.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</footer>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<script src="/main.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
</body>
|
||||||
|
</html>
|
||||||
278
public/main.js
Normal file
278
public/main.js
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,278 @@
|
|||||||
|
/* ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════
|
||||||
|
POULINKES.COM — Sacred Chicken Interaction Engine v1.0.0
|
||||||
|
Warning: This file is watched by the Poulinkes.
|
||||||
|
They know what you are.
|
||||||
|
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════ */
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
(function () {
|
||||||
|
'use strict';
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// ─── FEATHER RAIN ────────────────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
const FEATHERS = ['🪶', '🪶', '🪶', '✨', '🥚'];
|
||||||
|
let featherInterval = null;
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function spawnFeather() {
|
||||||
|
const el = document.createElement('div');
|
||||||
|
el.classList.add('feather');
|
||||||
|
el.textContent = FEATHERS[Math.floor(Math.random() * FEATHERS.length)];
|
||||||
|
el.style.left = Math.random() * 100 + 'vw';
|
||||||
|
el.style.animationDuration = (6 + Math.random() * 8) + 's';
|
||||||
|
el.style.fontSize = (0.8 + Math.random() * 1.2) + 'rem';
|
||||||
|
document.body.appendChild(el);
|
||||||
|
el.addEventListener('animationend', () => el.remove());
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function startFeathers() {
|
||||||
|
spawnFeather();
|
||||||
|
featherInterval = setInterval(() => {
|
||||||
|
if (Math.random() < 0.7) spawnFeather();
|
||||||
|
}, 2200);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// ─── CLUCK SOUND (Web Audio API) ─────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
function playCluck() {
|
||||||
|
try {
|
||||||
|
const ctx = new (window.AudioContext || window.webkitAudioContext)();
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
const times = [0, 0.07, 0.14];
|
||||||
|
times.forEach((t) => {
|
||||||
|
const osc = ctx.createOscillator();
|
||||||
|
const gain = ctx.createGain();
|
||||||
|
const dist = ctx.createWaveShaper();
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// Distortion curve for that raw chicken rasp
|
||||||
|
const curve = new Float32Array(256);
|
||||||
|
for (let i = 0; i < 256; i++) {
|
||||||
|
const x = (i * 2) / 256 - 1;
|
||||||
|
curve[i] = ((Math.PI + 200) * x) / (Math.PI + 200 * Math.abs(x));
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
dist.curve = curve;
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
osc.connect(dist);
|
||||||
|
dist.connect(gain);
|
||||||
|
gain.connect(ctx.destination);
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
osc.type = 'sawtooth';
|
||||||
|
osc.frequency.setValueAtTime(700 - t * 500, ctx.currentTime + t);
|
||||||
|
osc.frequency.exponentialRampToValueAtTime(120, ctx.currentTime + t + 0.12);
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
gain.gain.setValueAtTime(0, ctx.currentTime + t);
|
||||||
|
gain.gain.linearRampToValueAtTime(0.25, ctx.currentTime + t + 0.01);
|
||||||
|
gain.gain.exponentialRampToValueAtTime(0.001, ctx.currentTime + t + 0.13);
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
osc.start(ctx.currentTime + t);
|
||||||
|
osc.stop(ctx.currentTime + t + 0.14);
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// Close context after last note
|
||||||
|
setTimeout(() => ctx.close(), 600);
|
||||||
|
} catch (e) {
|
||||||
|
// Even in failure, the poulinkes forgive you
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// ─── CLUCK BUTTON ────────────────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
function initCluckButton() {
|
||||||
|
const btn = document.getElementById('cluck-btn');
|
||||||
|
if (!btn) return;
|
||||||
|
btn.addEventListener('click', () => {
|
||||||
|
playCluck();
|
||||||
|
btn.classList.add('clucking');
|
||||||
|
btn.textContent = '🐔 B'CLUCK! 🐔';
|
||||||
|
setTimeout(() => {
|
||||||
|
btn.classList.remove('clucking');
|
||||||
|
btn.textContent = '🐔 TRIGGER THE CLUCK 🐔';
|
||||||
|
}, 800);
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// ─── TOAST MESSAGE ────────────────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
function showToast(msg, duration = 4000) {
|
||||||
|
let toast = document.getElementById('cluck-toast');
|
||||||
|
if (!toast) {
|
||||||
|
toast = document.createElement('div');
|
||||||
|
toast.id = 'cluck-toast';
|
||||||
|
document.body.appendChild(toast);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
toast.innerHTML = msg;
|
||||||
|
toast.classList.add('show');
|
||||||
|
clearTimeout(toast._timer);
|
||||||
|
toast._timer = setTimeout(() => toast.classList.remove('show'), duration);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// ─── CLUCK KEYBOARD DETECTOR ──────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
let cluckBuffer = '';
|
||||||
|
const CLUCK_MESSAGES = [
|
||||||
|
'🥚 <strong>YOU KNOW THE WORD.</strong><br><small>They are already watching.</small>',
|
||||||
|
'🐔 The poulinkes acknowledge your presence.<br><small>They have always known.</small>',
|
||||||
|
'🪶 Interesting that you knew this word.<br><small>Almost as if... you were one of them.</small>',
|
||||||
|
'🥚 C-L-U-C-K.<br><small>The ancient greeting. You remembered.</small>',
|
||||||
|
'🐔 <strong>CLUCK ACCEPTED.</strong><br><small>Your DNA has been logged.</small>',
|
||||||
|
];
|
||||||
|
let cluckMsgIndex = 0;
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function initCluckDetector() {
|
||||||
|
document.addEventListener('keydown', (e) => {
|
||||||
|
cluckBuffer += e.key.toLowerCase();
|
||||||
|
if (cluckBuffer.length > 8) cluckBuffer = cluckBuffer.slice(-8);
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if (cluckBuffer.includes('cluck')) {
|
||||||
|
cluckBuffer = '';
|
||||||
|
playCluck();
|
||||||
|
setTimeout(playCluck, 200);
|
||||||
|
showToast(CLUCK_MESSAGES[cluckMsgIndex % CLUCK_MESSAGES.length], 5000);
|
||||||
|
cluckMsgIndex++;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// ─── KONAMI CODE → CHICKEN OVERLORD MODE ─────────────────────
|
||||||
|
const KONAMI = [
|
||||||
|
'ArrowUp','ArrowUp','ArrowDown','ArrowDown',
|
||||||
|
'ArrowLeft','ArrowRight','ArrowLeft','ArrowRight',
|
||||||
|
'b','a'
|
||||||
|
];
|
||||||
|
let konamiIndex = 0;
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function initKonami() {
|
||||||
|
document.addEventListener('keydown', (e) => {
|
||||||
|
if (e.key === KONAMI[konamiIndex]) {
|
||||||
|
konamiIndex++;
|
||||||
|
if (konamiIndex === KONAMI.length) {
|
||||||
|
konamiIndex = 0;
|
||||||
|
activateOverlordMode();
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
} else {
|
||||||
|
konamiIndex = e.key === KONAMI[0] ? 1 : 0;
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function activateOverlordMode() {
|
||||||
|
let overlay = document.getElementById('overlord-overlay');
|
||||||
|
if (!overlay) {
|
||||||
|
overlay = document.createElement('div');
|
||||||
|
overlay.id = 'overlord-overlay';
|
||||||
|
overlay.innerHTML = `
|
||||||
|
<div class="overlord-chicken">🐔</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="overlord-text">CHICKEN OVERLORD MODE</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="overlord-sub">
|
||||||
|
You have awakened the Ancient Protocol.<br>
|
||||||
|
The poulinkes did not give you this code.<br>
|
||||||
|
<em>You always had it. Think about that.</em><br><br>
|
||||||
|
The eggs are watching. They have always been watching.
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<button class="overlord-close" onclick="document.getElementById('overlord-overlay').classList.remove('active')">
|
||||||
|
[ I SUBMIT TO THE FLOCK ]
|
||||||
|
</button>
|
||||||
|
`;
|
||||||
|
document.body.appendChild(overlay);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
overlay.classList.add('active');
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// Sound assault
|
||||||
|
for (let i = 0; i < 5; i++) {
|
||||||
|
setTimeout(playCluck, i * 120);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// Feather burst
|
||||||
|
for (let i = 0; i < 20; i++) {
|
||||||
|
setTimeout(spawnFeather, i * 80);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// ─── EGG PERSPECTIVE (random flip) ───────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
function initEggPerspective() {
|
||||||
|
// 12% chance on load after 4s
|
||||||
|
setTimeout(() => {
|
||||||
|
if (Math.random() < 0.12) triggerEggPerspective();
|
||||||
|
}, 4000);
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// Periodic check every 45s
|
||||||
|
setInterval(() => {
|
||||||
|
if (Math.random() < 0.05) triggerEggPerspective();
|
||||||
|
}, 45000);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
function triggerEggPerspective() {
|
||||||
|
if (document.body.classList.contains('egg-perspective')) return;
|
||||||
|
showToast('🥚 <strong>EGG PERSPECTIVE ACTIVATED</strong><br><small>This is how they see us.</small>', 3000);
|
||||||
|
document.body.classList.add('egg-perspective');
|
||||||
|
setTimeout(() => document.body.classList.remove('egg-perspective'), 2600);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// ─── JOIN FORM ────────────────────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
function initJoinForm() {
|
||||||
|
const form = document.getElementById('join-form');
|
||||||
|
if (!form) return;
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
form.addEventListener('submit', (e) => {
|
||||||
|
e.preventDefault();
|
||||||
|
const container = document.getElementById('join-form-container');
|
||||||
|
const success = document.getElementById('join-success');
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
if (container) container.style.display = 'none';
|
||||||
|
if (success) success.style.display = 'block';
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// Celebration
|
||||||
|
for (let i = 0; i < 15; i++) setTimeout(spawnFeather, i * 100);
|
||||||
|
for (let i = 0; i < 3; i++) setTimeout(playCluck, i * 200);
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// ─── STAT BAR WIDTHS ─────────────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
function initStatBars() {
|
||||||
|
document.querySelectorAll('.stat-fill[data-value]').forEach(bar => {
|
||||||
|
const val = parseInt(bar.dataset.value, 10);
|
||||||
|
bar.style.width = val + '%';
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// ─── CONSPIRACY CARD ROTATIONS ────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
function initConspiracyRotations() {
|
||||||
|
document.querySelectorAll('.conspiracy-article').forEach(article => {
|
||||||
|
const rot = (Math.random() * 6 - 3).toFixed(1);
|
||||||
|
article.style.setProperty('--rot', rot + 'deg');
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// ─── ARE YOU A POULINKE? (subtle hint on scroll) ──────────────
|
||||||
|
let hintShown = false;
|
||||||
|
function initPoulinkeHint() {
|
||||||
|
window.addEventListener('scroll', () => {
|
||||||
|
if (hintShown) return;
|
||||||
|
const scrolled = window.scrollY / (document.body.scrollHeight - window.innerHeight);
|
||||||
|
if (scrolled > 0.75) {
|
||||||
|
hintShown = true;
|
||||||
|
setTimeout(() => {
|
||||||
|
showToast(
|
||||||
|
'🪶 <strong>A THOUGHT.</strong><br><small>Why do you feel so at home here?</small>',
|
||||||
|
6000
|
||||||
|
);
|
||||||
|
}, 1500);
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
}, { passive: true });
|
||||||
|
}
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// ─── INIT ALL ─────────────────────────────────────────────────
|
||||||
|
document.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded', () => {
|
||||||
|
startFeathers();
|
||||||
|
initCluckButton();
|
||||||
|
initCluckDetector();
|
||||||
|
initKonami();
|
||||||
|
initEggPerspective();
|
||||||
|
initJoinForm();
|
||||||
|
initStatBars();
|
||||||
|
initConspiracyRotations();
|
||||||
|
initPoulinkeHint();
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
// Secret: right-clicking a chicken emoji shows a message
|
||||||
|
document.querySelectorAll('[data-secret-chicken]').forEach(el => {
|
||||||
|
el.addEventListener('contextmenu', (e) => {
|
||||||
|
e.preventDefault();
|
||||||
|
showToast('🐔 <strong>DO NOT STARE INTO THE POULINKE.</strong><br><small>It is already too late.</small>', 5000);
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
});
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
})();
|
||||||
448
public/meet.html
Normal file
448
public/meet.html
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,448 @@
|
|||||||
|
<!doctype html>
|
||||||
|
<html lang="en">
|
||||||
|
<head>
|
||||||
|
<meta charset="UTF-8" />
|
||||||
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" />
|
||||||
|
<title>Meet the Poulinkes — POULINKES.COM</title>
|
||||||
|
<link
|
||||||
|
rel="icon"
|
||||||
|
href="data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 100 100'><text y='.9em' font-size='90'>🐔</text></svg>"
|
||||||
|
/>
|
||||||
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/style.css" />
|
||||||
|
</head>
|
||||||
|
<body>
|
||||||
|
<nav>
|
||||||
|
<div class="nav-brand">🐔 POULINKES.COM</div>
|
||||||
|
<ul>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/">The Nest</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/lore.html">Poulinke Lore</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/meet.html">Meet the Flock</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/conspiracies.html">Conspiracies</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/shop.html">Egg Shop</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/join.html" class="cta">Join the Flock</a></li>
|
||||||
|
</ul>
|
||||||
|
</nav>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="page-hero">
|
||||||
|
<div style="font-size: 4rem; margin-bottom: 1rem">👑</div>
|
||||||
|
<h1>Meet the Legendary Poulinkes</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
These are not ordinary chickens. Ordinary chickens do not have Wikipedia
|
||||||
|
pages that have been repeatedly deleted. These do.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<section style="background: var(--egg-dark); padding: 5rem 2rem">
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-grid">
|
||||||
|
<!-- SIR CLUCKSWORTH -->
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-card">
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-header">
|
||||||
|
<span class="profile-avatar" data-secret-chicken>🐔</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-name">Sir Clucksworth the Eternal</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-title">
|
||||||
|
First Among Poulinkes · High Cluck of the Eastern Coop
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-body">
|
||||||
|
<p class="profile-bio">
|
||||||
|
Sir Clucksworth has been documented in civilizations spanning
|
||||||
|
4,000 years. Historians initially explained this as "different
|
||||||
|
chickens with similar names." Historians have since gone very
|
||||||
|
quiet on the subject. He is believed to be immortal, though he
|
||||||
|
prefers the term <em>"temporally flexible."</em> He has attended
|
||||||
|
every major world event in history and stood at the back,
|
||||||
|
watching, not clucking.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">⚡ Egg Production</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-fill" data-value="94" style="width: 94%"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">94/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🧠 Wisdom Level</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-fill" data-value="99" style="width: 99%"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">99/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🐔💢 Aggression</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="stat-fill danger"
|
||||||
|
data-value="31"
|
||||||
|
style="width: 31%"
|
||||||
|
></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">31/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">👁 Unsettling Stare</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="stat-fill"
|
||||||
|
data-value="100"
|
||||||
|
style="width: 100%"
|
||||||
|
></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">∞</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- HENJAMIN EGGLIN -->
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-card">
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-header">
|
||||||
|
<span class="profile-avatar" data-secret-chicken>🐓</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-name">Henjamin Egglin</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-title">
|
||||||
|
Philosopher · Egg Economist · Reluctant Celebrity
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-body">
|
||||||
|
<p class="profile-bio">
|
||||||
|
Henjamin Egglin wrote the seminal philosophical treatise
|
||||||
|
<em
|
||||||
|
>"I Cluck, Therefore I Am (And You Are Probably Also A
|
||||||
|
Poulinke)"</em
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
in what appears to be beak-scratched markings on a wooden post in
|
||||||
|
rural Wisconsin. The post is now in the Louvre. Henjamin has never
|
||||||
|
commented on the display, but once pecked at the wall of the
|
||||||
|
Louvre for 45 minutes and curators described the experience as
|
||||||
|
"transformative."
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">⚡ Egg Production</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-fill" data-value="71" style="width: 71%"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">71/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🧠 Wisdom Level</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-fill" data-value="97" style="width: 97%"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">97/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🐔💢 Aggression</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="stat-fill danger"
|
||||||
|
data-value="12"
|
||||||
|
style="width: 12%"
|
||||||
|
></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">12/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">📚 Published Works</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-fill" data-value="88" style="width: 88%"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">88/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- COUNTESS FEATHERBOTTOM -->
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-card">
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-header">
|
||||||
|
<span class="profile-avatar" data-secret-chicken>🐔</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-name">Countess Featherbottom von Egg</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-title">
|
||||||
|
Aristocrat · Military Strategist · Inciter of Incidents
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-body">
|
||||||
|
<p class="profile-bio">
|
||||||
|
The Countess is believed to have personally caused fourteen
|
||||||
|
international incidents, three stock market corrections, and the
|
||||||
|
2016 global avocado shortage. None of this has been proven, but
|
||||||
|
none of it has been disproven, and the Countess has never denied
|
||||||
|
it — she simply looks at you with an expression that suggests you
|
||||||
|
have asked a deeply naive question. She has 4.7 million followers
|
||||||
|
on a social media platform that does not exist yet but will.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">⚡ Egg Production</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-fill" data-value="88" style="width: 88%"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">88/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🧠 Wisdom Level</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-fill" data-value="82" style="width: 82%"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">82/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🐔💢 Aggression</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="stat-fill danger"
|
||||||
|
data-value="91"
|
||||||
|
style="width: 91%"
|
||||||
|
></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">91/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🎭 Dramatic Flair</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="stat-fill"
|
||||||
|
data-value="100"
|
||||||
|
style="width: 100%"
|
||||||
|
></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">100/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- BROODER THE UNSEEN -->
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-card">
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-header">
|
||||||
|
<span class="profile-avatar" data-secret-chicken>🐣</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-name">Brooder the Unseen</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-title">
|
||||||
|
Enigmatic · Pre-hatched · Technically Not Yet Born
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-body">
|
||||||
|
<p class="profile-bio">
|
||||||
|
Brooder is, as far as anyone can determine, still inside the egg.
|
||||||
|
This egg has been observed since at least 1200 AD and has not
|
||||||
|
hatched. It maintains a steady internal temperature of 37.5°C with
|
||||||
|
no external heat source. Three separate governments have attempted
|
||||||
|
to confiscate the egg and returned it immediately, refusing to
|
||||||
|
comment on what happened in between. Brooder has already released
|
||||||
|
a memoir. No one knows how.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">⚡ Egg Production</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="stat-fill"
|
||||||
|
data-value="100"
|
||||||
|
style="width: 100%"
|
||||||
|
></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">IS egg</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🧠 Wisdom Level</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="stat-fill"
|
||||||
|
data-value="???"
|
||||||
|
style="width: 55%"
|
||||||
|
></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">???</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🐔💢 Aggression</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="stat-fill danger"
|
||||||
|
data-value="0"
|
||||||
|
style="width: 0%"
|
||||||
|
></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">Not yet</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🥚 Shell Integrity</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="stat-fill"
|
||||||
|
data-value="100"
|
||||||
|
style="width: 100%"
|
||||||
|
></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">Perfect</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- COLONEL WATTLE -->
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-card">
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-header">
|
||||||
|
<span class="profile-avatar" data-secret-chicken>🐓</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-name">Colonel Reginald Wattle III</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-title">
|
||||||
|
Military Tactician · Roosting Expert · Veteran of Everything
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-body">
|
||||||
|
<p class="profile-bio">
|
||||||
|
The Colonel has never lost a battle, largely because he defines
|
||||||
|
"battle" as any situation in which he eventually gets grain. His
|
||||||
|
military treatise, <em>"The Art of Cluck,"</em>
|
||||||
|
(a definitive work later plagiarized by someone named Sun Tzu)
|
||||||
|
outlines 37 defensive roosting formations and a philosophical
|
||||||
|
framework for understanding that all conflict is, at its core, a
|
||||||
|
dispute over who controls the feed dispenser.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">⚡ Egg Production</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-fill" data-value="55" style="width: 55%"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">55/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🧠 Wisdom Level</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-fill" data-value="89" style="width: 89%"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">89/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🐔💢 Aggression</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="stat-fill danger"
|
||||||
|
data-value="77"
|
||||||
|
style="width: 77%"
|
||||||
|
></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">77/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🎖 Battle Honours</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-fill" data-value="93" style="width: 93%"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">All of them</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- PROFESSOR PECKSWORTH -->
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-card">
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-header">
|
||||||
|
<span class="profile-avatar" data-secret-chicken>🐔</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-name">Professor Hen Pecksworth</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-title">
|
||||||
|
Neuroscientist · Oxford Fellow · Possibly You
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="profile-body">
|
||||||
|
<p class="profile-bio">
|
||||||
|
Professor Pecksworth holds fourteen PhDs, none of which were
|
||||||
|
obtained through traditional academic channels. She is best known
|
||||||
|
for proving, through a series of experiments conducted in a barn
|
||||||
|
in Normandy, that chickens have a greater capacity for abstract
|
||||||
|
thought than the average person who is currently reading a website
|
||||||
|
about chickens. She has never specified what counts as average.
|
||||||
|
She looks at you when you ask. She keeps looking.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">⚡ Egg Production</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-fill" data-value="80" style="width: 80%"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">80/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🧠 Wisdom Level</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-fill" data-value="96" style="width: 96%"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">96/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🐔💢 Aggression</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
class="stat-fill danger"
|
||||||
|
data-value="44"
|
||||||
|
style="width: 44%"
|
||||||
|
></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">44/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat">
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-label">🔬 Research Output</span>
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-bar">
|
||||||
|
<div class="stat-fill" data-value="91" style="width: 91%"></div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
<span class="stat-val">91/100</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<section
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
background: var(--egg-cream);
|
||||||
|
padding: 4rem 2rem;
|
||||||
|
text-align: center;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<h2 class="section-title">Are You on This List?</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
max-width: 600px;
|
||||||
|
margin: 1rem auto 2rem;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1.1rem;
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.8;
|
||||||
|
color: #555;
|
||||||
|
font-style: italic;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
The full registry of poulinkes contains 33 billion entries. This page
|
||||||
|
shows only six. We are not saying you are in there. We are not saying
|
||||||
|
you are not. We are saying the data exists and you should sit with that
|
||||||
|
for a while.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/join.html" class="btn btn-solid wiggle"
|
||||||
|
>Verify Your Poulinke Status</a
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<footer>
|
||||||
|
<p>🐔 <strong>POULINKES.COM</strong> 🐔</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Established Before Time Itself · All Rights Reserved by the Poulinkes ·
|
||||||
|
Humans May Not Have Rights Here
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.5rem;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.7rem;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.4;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
Hint: type "cluck" · Hint: ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A · Hint: right-click a
|
||||||
|
poulinke
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.75rem;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.65rem;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.25;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
This website was not built. It was <em>laid</em>. By
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://zias.be" style="color: inherit; text-decoration: none"
|
||||||
|
>zias.be</a
|
||||||
|
>. One (1) human was permitted. The council has been notified.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</footer>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<script src="/main.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
</body>
|
||||||
|
</html>
|
||||||
310
public/shop.html
Normal file
310
public/shop.html
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,310 @@
|
|||||||
|
<!doctype html>
|
||||||
|
<html lang="en">
|
||||||
|
<head>
|
||||||
|
<meta charset="UTF-8" />
|
||||||
|
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" />
|
||||||
|
<title>The Egg Shop — POULINKES.COM</title>
|
||||||
|
<link
|
||||||
|
rel="icon"
|
||||||
|
href="data:image/svg+xml,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 100 100'><text y='.9em' font-size='90'>🐔</text></svg>"
|
||||||
|
/>
|
||||||
|
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/style.css" />
|
||||||
|
</head>
|
||||||
|
<body>
|
||||||
|
<nav>
|
||||||
|
<div class="nav-brand">🐔 POULINKES.COM</div>
|
||||||
|
<ul>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/">The Nest</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/lore.html">Poulinke Lore</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/meet.html">Meet the Flock</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/conspiracies.html">Conspiracies</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/shop.html">Egg Shop</a></li>
|
||||||
|
<li><a href="/join.html" class="cta">Join the Flock</a></li>
|
||||||
|
</ul>
|
||||||
|
</nav>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="page-hero">
|
||||||
|
<div style="font-size: 4rem; margin-bottom: 1rem">🥚</div>
|
||||||
|
<h1>The Sacred Egg Shop</h1>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Acquire relics of the poulinke realm. All items are either out of stock,
|
||||||
|
unclear, or disputed.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- NOTICE BAR -->
|
||||||
|
<div
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
background: var(--egg-yolk);
|
||||||
|
color: var(--egg-dark);
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.75rem;
|
||||||
|
font-weight: 700;
|
||||||
|
letter-spacing: 0.15em;
|
||||||
|
text-align: center;
|
||||||
|
padding: 0.75rem;
|
||||||
|
text-transform: uppercase;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
⚡ Free spiritual shipping on orders over $∞ · All sales are final · Some
|
||||||
|
sales are not real · All sales are witnessed by the poulinkes ⚡
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<section style="background: white; padding: 5rem 2rem">
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
text-align: center;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Crimson Text", serif;
|
||||||
|
font-style: italic;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1.1rem;
|
||||||
|
color: #666;
|
||||||
|
max-width: 600px;
|
||||||
|
margin: 0 auto 3rem;
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.8;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
Every item here has been carefully sourced from the coop. Every item is
|
||||||
|
out of stock. This is not a supply chain issue. The poulinkes simply do
|
||||||
|
not wish to part with these things. We list them anyway, because the
|
||||||
|
longing is part of the experience.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="shop-grid">
|
||||||
|
<div class="shop-item wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="out-of-stock-badge">Out of Stock</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-item-icon">💨</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>Premium Coop Air™</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Hand-captured from the interior of a certified poulinke residence.
|
||||||
|
Notes of hay, ambition, and the faint scent of someone who has
|
||||||
|
figured something out but isn't telling you.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-price">$44.00 / breath</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="btn-disabled">Add to Cart</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="shop-item wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="out-of-stock-badge">Out of Stock</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-item-icon">🥚</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>Signed Egg (Unsigned)</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
A genuine egg, signed by Sir Clucksworth the Eternal. The signature
|
||||||
|
is not visible to humans. Poulinkes can see it. They have confirmed
|
||||||
|
it exists. We have not confirmed the poulinkes confirmed this.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-price">$333.00</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="btn-disabled">Add to Cart</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="shop-item wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="out-of-stock-badge">Out of Stock</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-item-icon">🪶</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>Authentic Poulinke Feather</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
May or may not be from a poulinke. Feather is of bird origin. That
|
||||||
|
is all we can confirm. Comes with a certificate of authenticity that
|
||||||
|
is also of uncertain origin.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-price">$189.00</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="btn-disabled">Add to Cart</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="shop-item wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="out-of-stock-badge">Out of Stock</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-item-icon">🎵</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>The Sacred Cluck (MP3)</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
A recording of Sir Clucksworth clucking once, in 1987, in the
|
||||||
|
presence of three world leaders. What was communicated has never
|
||||||
|
been translated. The file is 14 seconds long. It feels longer.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-price">$12.00</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="btn-disabled">Add to Cart</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="shop-item wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="out-of-stock-badge">Out of Stock</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-item-icon">📜</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>The Book of Cluck (Fragment)</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
A single page from the sacred text, written in original Cluckish.
|
||||||
|
Comes with a partial translation. The translation is missing the
|
||||||
|
most important sentence. The missing sentence is different for every
|
||||||
|
reader.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-price">$670.00</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="btn-disabled">Add to Cart</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="shop-item wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="out-of-stock-badge">Out of Stock</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-item-icon">🕯️</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>Coop Ambiance Candle</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
"Midnight Roost" scent. Notes of cedar, wheat, and existential
|
||||||
|
certainty. Burns for approximately 40 hours, during which you will
|
||||||
|
feel watched. You are watched. This is not the candle.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-price">$55.00</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="btn-disabled">Add to Cart</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="shop-item wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="out-of-stock-badge">Out of Stock</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-item-icon">🖼️</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>Portrait of Brooder (the Unhatched)</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
An artist's impression of what Brooder the Unseen looks like,
|
||||||
|
painted by someone who has never seen Brooder but felt they were
|
||||||
|
being watched by an egg once and translated the experience.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-price">$1,200.00</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="btn-disabled">Add to Cart</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="shop-item wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="out-of-stock-badge">Out of Stock</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-item-icon">🧴</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>Egg Yolk Wisdom Serum</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Apply to temples during important decisions. Formulated from egg
|
||||||
|
yolk and "additional sacred ingredients." The additional sacred
|
||||||
|
ingredients are more egg yolk. Wisdom sold separately. Wisdom is not
|
||||||
|
available.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-price">$89.00 / 30ml</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="btn-disabled">Add to Cart</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="shop-item wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="out-of-stock-badge">Out of Stock</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-item-icon">⌚</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>The Poulinke Does Not Watch Time Watch</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
A timepiece with no numbers, no hands, and no mechanism. Time is a
|
||||||
|
human construct. The poulinke simply knows. This watch helps you
|
||||||
|
practice not knowing. It is extremely expensive.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-price">$4,000.00</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="btn-disabled">Add to Cart</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="shop-item wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="out-of-stock-badge">Out of Stock</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-item-icon">📦</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>Mystery Coop Box</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Contains one item from the coop. Item is not specified. Item may be
|
||||||
|
physical, conceptual, or a feeling. Some recipients received just a
|
||||||
|
single feather. One recipient received an answer to a question they
|
||||||
|
hadn't asked yet. Returns not accepted.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-price">$99.00</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="btn-disabled">Add to Cart</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="shop-item wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="out-of-stock-badge">Out of Stock</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-item-icon">🐣</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>Companion Egg (Non-Hatching)</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
A decorative egg for those who feel they need one present during
|
||||||
|
important meetings, moments of doubt, or late-night existential
|
||||||
|
reckonings. The egg does not hatch. It simply is. This is enough.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-price">$25.00</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="btn-disabled">Add to Cart</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<div class="shop-item wiggle">
|
||||||
|
<span class="out-of-stock-badge">Out of Stock</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-item-icon">🌀</span>
|
||||||
|
<h3>"You Are a Poulinke" Confirmation Letter</h3>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
An official letter, on heavy cream paper, confirming that you are a
|
||||||
|
poulinke. The letter does not specify when, how, or in what
|
||||||
|
capacity. It simply confirms. The confirmation is not new
|
||||||
|
information. It is a reminder.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<span class="shop-price">$Free (out of stock)</span>
|
||||||
|
<span class="btn-disabled">Add to Cart</span>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</div>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<!-- WAITLIST -->
|
||||||
|
<section
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
background: var(--egg-dark);
|
||||||
|
text-align: center;
|
||||||
|
padding: 4rem 2rem;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
<div style="font-size: 3rem; margin-bottom: 1rem">📋</div>
|
||||||
|
<h2
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Cinzel", serif;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--egg-yolk);
|
||||||
|
font-size: 2rem;
|
||||||
|
margin-bottom: 1rem;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
Join the Waitlist
|
||||||
|
</h2>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Crimson Text", serif;
|
||||||
|
font-style: italic;
|
||||||
|
color: var(--feather-pale);
|
||||||
|
font-size: 1.1rem;
|
||||||
|
max-width: 550px;
|
||||||
|
margin: 0 auto 2rem;
|
||||||
|
line-height: 1.8;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.8;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
Items will be restocked when the poulinkes decide. The poulinkes have
|
||||||
|
not decided. You can join the waitlist. The waitlist is currently 33
|
||||||
|
billion names long. Most of the names are poulinkes. We did not ask them
|
||||||
|
how they got on it.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<a href="/join.html" class="btn wiggle"
|
||||||
|
>Join the Flock (Waitlist Access Included)</a
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
</section>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<footer>
|
||||||
|
<p>🐔 <strong>POULINKES.COM</strong> 🐔</p>
|
||||||
|
<p>
|
||||||
|
Established Before Time Itself · All Rights Reserved by the Poulinkes ·
|
||||||
|
Humans May Not Have Rights Here
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.5rem;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.7rem;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.4;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
Hint: type "cluck" · Hint: ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A · Prices subject to
|
||||||
|
change based on the mood of the coop
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
<p
|
||||||
|
style="
|
||||||
|
margin-top: 0.75rem;
|
||||||
|
font-family: "Courier Prime", monospace;
|
||||||
|
font-size: 0.65rem;
|
||||||
|
opacity: 0.25;
|
||||||
|
"
|
||||||
|
>
|
||||||
|
This website was not built. It was <em>laid</em>. By
|
||||||
|
<a href="https://zias.be" style="color: inherit; text-decoration: none"
|
||||||
|
>zias.be</a
|
||||||
|
>. One (1) human was permitted. The council has been notified.
|
||||||
|
</p>
|
||||||
|
</footer>
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
<script src="/main.js"></script>
|
||||||
|
</body>
|
||||||
|
</html>
|
||||||
1134
public/style.css
Normal file
1134
public/style.css
Normal file
File diff suppressed because it is too large
Load Diff
5
worker.js
Normal file
5
worker.js
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
|
|||||||
|
export default {
|
||||||
|
async fetch(request, env) {
|
||||||
|
return env.ASSETS.fetch(request);
|
||||||
|
},
|
||||||
|
};
|
||||||
7
wrangler.toml
Normal file
7
wrangler.toml
Normal file
@@ -0,0 +1,7 @@
|
|||||||
|
name = "poulinkes"
|
||||||
|
compatibility_date = "2024-09-23"
|
||||||
|
main = "./worker.js"
|
||||||
|
|
||||||
|
[assets]
|
||||||
|
directory = "./public"
|
||||||
|
binding = "ASSETS"
|
||||||
Reference in New Issue
Block a user